Just started dating, showed her a pic of my son, she then asked what I was going to do with him once we Had kids. Ghosted

"You have one year to decide if you're going to marry me." First date - Dinner had just been ordered. My response: "I'm still trying to decide on a second date..."

"If you leave me I'll kill you. If you find another girl I'll make sure to ruin both your lives forever." We've been happily married for 5 years :)

I was at a party and this Puerto Rican girl was getting progressively flirty throughout the night. At one point she leaned over and told me she wanted to bend me over. English was definitely not her first language so I asked if she meant she wanted me to bend HER over. "I know what I said."

had a gf that used to say this about twice a month... "oooh i love your eyes so much, sometimes i just want to scoop them out with a spoon and put them in a jar"

My local vet is a middle aged woman. She always seemed really caring and lovely. Never had a problem with her but then she started texting me late at night asking me to get coffee with her. She said I reminded her of her sons who lived far away. I blocked her number when she offered me money. I got a super creepy vibe from the wording she used. The night I blocked her my power went out unexpectedly at about midnight. For a moment I was absolutely terrified that she had cut my power and was about to come in but it turned out the whole neighbourhood had gone dark.

"I don't mind if you cum in me but if I get pregnant I'm aborting that shit. " I wasn't mentally prepared for that statement. Completely caught me off guard.

Had a friend who was in the middle of having sex with a girl and she asked him to stay completely still because it was like she was fucking his corpse.

"Sometimes I fart thinking about you" What?

"You're really expensive to stalk" -- As I delivered pizza to their apartment :/

"What a coincidence we both ended up on this training course" When my ex showed up at a training course completely unrelated to her employment in another state which I was attending.

I knew a crazy goth chick in HS who tried to convince me to kill myself and will her my ashes.

"I'm going to suck your soul out tonight." I never met her before.

"You'll turn straight if I rape you" No thanks. Enough of that, lol.

Didn't have a condom one night so a girl supplied one...we did the dirty. The next morning she asked what I would name our kid.