“Speech class, chick gets up for her presentation and freezes up. For 3 minutes straight. Teacher did not stop the clock did not excuse her did nothing but watch her sit there and sweat. We all looked at each other and back at her for 3 min straight.”

“During a high school play someone’s mic was on backstage and she said “I used a condom on your mom last night.” Everyone in the audience, mostly parents, heard it. It was like something from a movie.”

“I walked in on my roommate in college who was watching porn in our dorm room. As soon as I walked in I could tell he just panicked and sat there for one second until calmly turning the monitor off. He then proceeded to take his computer apart for half an hour saying that he couldn’t seem to figure out what was wrong with it. I cringed.”

“Had an operation on my testicle, I was on the children’s ward because I was 15. I woke up in the afternoon pretty out of it still, the ward was busy lots of people walking through. Then a nurse walked over pretty quickly she wouldn’t make eye contact with me and kind of looked away as she shut the curtain around my bed. I looked down and noticed my gown had lifted up in my sleep and I had an erection.”

“That time on SNL when Ashley Simpson lip synced and then just awkwardly danced off the stage. Also that time I tripped down the steps in band class right in front of the girl I had a mega crush on. I looked like a goddam clumsy idiot.”

“I used to work with a guy who had lost his leg below the knee in a motorcycle accident. One time he asked me if I was busy and I replied “ I am busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!” It didn’t even cross my mind until he replied “You know that isn’t really that busy.”

“Many years ago I worked a summer in the admin building of a large chemical plant. Our department went to presentation given by a local police officer about parking lot safety. He demonstrated several techniques to thwart attackers. He went to demonstrate a kick and let out a loud fart when he did. He bravely continued as if it didn’t happen and no one acknowledged it. I was barely 20 and struggled mightily to keep a straight face.”

“I was at a girls house in high school and we were all secretly drinking in the backyard. Until her friend needed to use the bathroom and walked full force right into the sliding glass door. Her friends parents were right inside that room watching tv too. She needed to have her parents come pick her up because the nose bleed was so bad.”

“I was at a Motley Crue concert in a big arena and before the show started, all the lights were on and a beach ball was being passed around. The whole crowd was watching the beach ball while people were filing into the floor section. When the ball reached the floor, a large man was walking out holding two full beers and he went to kick the ball and fell flat on his back and spilled both beers on his face. The whole stadium was laughing hysterically!”

“So the year was 2015 and my friend decided to tell a girl he liked her. So he walks up to her and then vomits straight on her. She cried and ran to a nearby teacher. Kid had detention for a week.’

“I once saw a lady drop 2 trays of eggs in a row, the second one happening immediately after a store employee came to assure her that everything was fine and that he’d get the first accident cleaned up. The second-hand embarrassment was extreme.”

“A woman was looking into one of her shopping bags while walking in the mall and walked straight into a pillar. Her body hitting the pillar made such a loud thud. I felt bad for her and think of her every time I’m at the mall.”

“I was in the military, and stories are in abundance. I’m just going to pull one out that I remember. One night, I watched a female soldier with a bad stomach problem run into a Porta John while ripping her pants down while opening the door. We immediately heard the noise from her release and at the same time the noise from the girl that she had just sat down on top of. Both ran out of the little blue bathroom screaming and horrified.”

“As an adult, I backed out of an angled parking space into a homeless guy riding a bicycle…in front a dozens of high school kids. It knocked the guy off his bike but when I got out to check on him he was already riding away saying he was ok. Some of the high school boys yelled: “NICE DRIVING!”

“Once at a casino I witnessed one of those stereotypical pickup artists try to make his move on a woman looking 20 years younger than him. The amount of ways he tried convincing the girl to make out with him was insane and super cringe inducing. Eventually she just called him a creep or pervert or something and left. The dude had no shame and was creepy as fuck but the dedication was objectively impressive lol.”

“A guy proposed to a girl at Busch Gardens. She cried…..but not because she was overcome with happiness.”