Not as bad as some, but I’ll never forget the 22ish year old girl who spent hours of one shift telling me, with no prompting at all, about how she used to be a raging heroin addict but she was over it now and had become extremely religious. She went into very explicit detail about her drug deals and the things she’d done to get drugs. My shy homeschooled ass was stunned. The very next day she got fired for stealing 20 dollars from the cash register.

We had a sysadmin who would come to work and run his real estate business from his desk while he was supposed to be working. The whole time coughing and sneezing and sniffling constantly. We called him “Itchy”. He would also call friends and family and have hours long conversations with them while we all had to listen. He picked up the nickname “Thanksgiving dinner guy” for using the break room (full kitchen) to cook entire meals that wouldn’t be out of place at a family gathering. One of the offices in another wing had a sheet by the door for people to log when they saw him and what he was cooking that day. He didn’t like any of us (the feeling was mutual) and left books like “Jerks at work.” on his desk. When he finally got fired, they found out he never did any of his sysadmin work. No backups, no password changes, no log monitoring.

I worked shifts. Can’t go home unless I pass over my reports to the next person face to face. One particular bitch loves coming in late. Not 5 or 10 minutes late, I’m talking 25 to 30 minutes late. Best part, she loves bitching about how everyone is always on her ass for coming in late. She literally lives 5 minutes walk away from work, so no one knows why she’s always late.

This woman who was one of those people who always had to one up you. Like if you cut your thumb off, she was just recently sawed in half. She was constantly complaining and miserable and it was so draining.

I had a 50 year old colleague who would message women on sugar baby apps and rub one out over his trousers. Saw him blow his load in the open office. He sat next to me. Kept on happening, reported it. He said he had a genital rash, but admitted to ‘messaging people on social media’. I got in trouble for my accusations. Fast forward 8 months, he’s sitting opposite me now. He starts rubbing one out in the open office again. I recorded him. Showed my manager, and he was finally fired.

He told the General Manager that he might be a bit late for a shift due to his second job. When the GM reluctantly said OK, he apparently took this as thinking he had free reign to come and go as he pleased. He’d show up anywhere from 7:30-8:30 for his 7:00 shift. Then when the doors closed he’d insist he had to “head out” and he had an early morning the following morning, leaving everyone else to do the closing work. He also had other issues like being rude to customers and other employees. People mostly kept quiet until one day a higher-level manager had to sub on night shift. When he went to leave early and the rest of us with the work, the manager flipped, “If you lay a fucking FINGER on that money before this work is COMPLETELY DONE, don’t bother coming back.” The guy insisted he “had permission” and left anyway. When our GM returned and he tried to come back, our manager said, “You warned me you were going to be late ONE TIME, and I never once gave you permission to otherwise start late or leave early. Clean out your locker NOW.”

I work with a woman who is threatened by other women, especially if they are younger and have more education than her. She consistently tries to discourage women from furthering their education, and constantly tries to get women she is threatened by fired. She is a goddam nightmare.

I used to work part time at a shipping warehouse and at one point, we ended up hiring this sixteen year old kid. He made a ton of mistakes that we ended up having to fix for him, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt at first just because he was new. But not only did he never learn from his fuck-ups, but he was incredibly lazy and lacked any self-awareness. There were instances where he was given a task, but then he’d either dick around on his phone most of the time, hide out in the bathroom for like forty-five minutes and then hoped we wouldn’t notice, or just whine to my supervisor that he didn’t want to do whatever he was assigned. Because of that, he would often take half the day to do like thirty minutes of work and would then complain that he had too much work piled on top of him. It was ridiculous. He lasted maybe a month before my supervisor let him go.

The 50 something Turd that was the owners son. Spoiled brat, reminded me constantly who he was if I stood up to him. Creepy as hell too, could never just tell any of the women they looked nice, actually told me one day that my legs looked nice…I was wearing a skirt. That was the last time I wore a skirt to work for a long time. I immediately started looking for a new job within a month. There were so many other things that occurred I was turned off from working for a small family owned business since.

I briefly had a co-worker at my current job at a local grocery store. We’ll just call him “Fred”. Fred is one of those people who’s always talking on his phone in the break room and that’s my personal pet peeve at work. More often than not, he’s usually arguing with his girlfriend and he doesn’t seem to care that anyone’s listening. He’d do other annoying, gross things like chewing with his mouth wide open and wiping his boogers all over the place, but then there was one day when he tried to flush a hot pocket down the toilet. Needless to say that it didn’t play out so well and that temporarily put an end to our closest employee restroom right by the break room. He surprisingly didn’t get fired over that, but he did get fired when one of his old high school teachers came in shopping and he threw a whole sack of potatoes at her. She was an elderly woman who got seriously injured and both the ambulance and the cops had to get involved. I never did hear about what happened to his old teacher, but Fred on the other hand is currently in jail for not only assaulting his teacher, but he apparently also attacked his lawyer for reasons unknown. That’s Fred.

She told our boss that she wanted to break into my apartment and touch all of my stuff because “I bet it’s all really cool”. This was right after I found out she’d moved into the apartment next door. She would send stuff to my apartment just so I would put it on her stoop and knock on her door.

I fully acknowledge there are far worse things, but she microwaved salmon.

First day of work she lit her desk on fire. Second day of work she ate her lunch and broke out n hives. Third day of work she arrives at work and sat in her passenger seat until one of us went out to check on her. She claims she hurt her back trying to pick up her purse and had one of her co-workers drove her home Would not let us use the same microwave as her as she claimed she was allergic to garlic. The list went on and on… until she was fired. Oh Marian I wonder where you are now as you were so entertaining.

There was this one guy who had terrible breath, and he never shut up. Would seriously come over to your desk and talk nonstop about bullshit for what seemed like forever. The whole time you’re sitting there smelling his terrible breath, and of course on top of that he’s never doing any actual work. Luckily he was eventually fired, but my company was one of those companies that took forever to fire someone

Had a guy that I worked with in my meat department at the store I work at, he would lose his mind over any little thing and get super angry and make everyone very uncomfortable. I was training a new guy and he was on one of his tantrums so I had to get my managers to help me out. One time he got so mad that he threw an actual meat cleaver in the wall and the dent is still there to this day. He got fired a few months ago and it’s been the happiest that the department has been in a long time.

She almost got me fired because she wanted to find the weakest looking guy to be her little errand boy. When I told her politely to go screw herself, she told HR that I had been taking work out of her queue in the system. It wasn’t a very good lie though, because why would I want to do more work than I have to? I even said this to HR in the disciplinary meeting.

I win this one. She made a pot of coffee for the staff but spiked it with meth.