Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it. Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around.

I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark. Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height. You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and there feet fly up even with there body and they fall down? I’m pretty sure that happened to me. I had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and I’m pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper I would have got the important arteries lol I could be wrong though.

Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards. Don’t run in abandoned buildings.

Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest.

“There’s enough space between cars, I can turn left” Spoiler: There wasn’t

played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child I was I immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out. the next day my parents bought me floaties.

Was a Quality Engineer in a motor assembly plant responsible for test cell work (where engines are run for checkout). At that time, guys still wore ties. I was facing a gigantic engine with whirling pulleys in the front, just happened to look down and saw my tie moving toward being sucked into a pulley and belt and jumped back. Had I been an half second later, my head would be lying on the floor and my body would be in the process of being chopped into pieces. Be careful around moving machinery folks.

Hypothermia kayaking through the drains under Manchester, wearing jeans and jumper, using an inflatable kayak which burst, in November, after drinking a bottle of whisky. That’s right up there near the top of the list I guess.

During a trip to the shotgun range, a clay pigeon fly’s low and away from the guy who is currently shooting. The range safety officer says something to him, and he turns to face him. For whatever reason his shotgun goes the other way and is now pointed at my head, with his finger on the trigger. So fucking lucky it didn’t fire

Tried to set a tire on fire and roll it down a cliff at a beach barbecue while drunk underage, fell on my ass and rolled off the cliff. Slowed myself down enough to prevent me getting any air and scraped myself bloody all the way down. Ripped my jeans from calf to belt and ended up really bloody but luckily only ended up freefalling 10ft and landed on a relatively flat rock which saved me. Terrified of cliffs now.

Gf and I were Hiking at 6am on a mountain trail. We stopped to admire the sunrise over the mountains when things got a little intimate. A jogger runs by which spooks both of us. With my shorts around my ankles I slip and fall to the ground and come within inches of falling off of a 500+ ft drop.

Tried working on a snowmobile and almost dropped the fucking thing on myself

I was nearly impaled by a small Eiffel Tower

Putting a handful of popcorn in my mouth and fake laughing literally almost died while my sister was sitting there laughing because she thought “I was just joking.”

By rolling up an entire Airhead, putting it in my mouth then promptly swallowing it and getting it lodged in my throat for too many minutes.

Was in a pool ring around my waist as a child and not well supervised while in a friends pool one day. Flipped upside down and couldn’t self-right. Nearly drowned. Watch your fucking kids in the pool ffs.

Not me, but one summer I was a counselor at a summer camp. The older campers would have to clean the canoes they used at the end of the week, and a 13-year-old boy decided in a flash that it would be funny to put the power washer in his mouth and pull the trigger. Can’t really blame him, he was just a kid. But he got knocked out cold and his mouth was fucked up.