Went to the ER for stomach pains, worried about appendix, spleen, gall bladder etc. I was constipated. My brother still tells the joke that the one time I went to the doctor I was full of shit.

I have a couple but…you can get a pimple on your dick. On the head. Especially if you wrestle. And it’s summer. And the gym doesn’t have a shower. And you have to walk half an hour home. I had it examined by the head pimple dick urologist and it was without a doubt 100% a pimple. Scariest few days of my life.

Hemorrhoids by far, I know women go through way worse at the Gyno and idk what I expected but I was not prepared to lay on my side in the fetal position while the doctor opened my ass cheeks like he was about to read a book.

I had a cat scan for a kidney stone, since that’s all they were looking for in the notes it said penis: unremarkable. I know it’s not much but damn.

The time I went for a pelvic exam, and my gynecologist was rummaging around down there and suddenly asked me if I’d ever been to the Grand Canyon.

I had blood in my urine once. Went to the doctor and we figured out that I had popped a small blood vessel in my genital area from jerking off too hard/too often. Doctor: “Are you sexually active?” Me: “Not currently.” Doctor: “Masturbation?” Me: “A lot.” Too make things worse, there was some college dude shadowing the doctor that day…

skin on my balls had the texture of dried cooked chicken skin and was flaky, was informed I didn’t have ball cancer but I was masturbating too much

Went and got diagnosed with an STD and was getting lectured about safe sex and cheating and then felt too embarrassed to tell the doctor my wife had actually given it to me.

Not my story, but my mothers. When she was pregnant with me, she had some pain and itching in her genital area. She went to her gynecologist, whom, she says, was a man with a rather odd sense of humor. She gets into the stirrups and doc gets in between her legs and says “oh! Cottage cheese! Yum!” Mom had a yeast infection. She found a different doctor, too.

I showed him my bruised dick because my gf didn’t know how to give a handy.

I was 5 years old, not too bright, and thought Air Freshener was EAR Freshener. So I plugged the end of a Febreze into my ear and let loose. I actually made it to the second ear before I realized I fucked up. Burning pain, damaged my eardrums from the pressure, bad everything for me, how could this day get any worse. Make it to the ER and my father is freaking out thinking I’ve gone deaf and he’s demanding why nobody was helping us and staring at the TVs. It was September 11th 2001, and I thought I was having a bad day

I know it’s normal and all that blah blah.. but I will never stop cringing about shitting during childbirth. I also blasted the lovely midwife in the face when my water broke, more like burst. It was like a bad comedy movie.

I had sores on my tongue and thought I might have an STD. Went to my doctor super worried. Turns out my new tooth brush was more firm than I was used to and I had brushed my tongue so hard with it that I caused damage. I was prescribed a softer tooth brush.

My one night stand wore magnums when he wasn’t magnum sized. He finished and the condom fell off inside me. So we got to the urgent care to have it removed then got some plan b.

RN checking in. I once cared for a patient who attempted prostate massage with a butternut squash — big end first. Some sphincter slippage ensued and this individual spent several days at home with a 6” winter squash stuck inside before he walked into the ER.

Not me, but my patient. 20 year old construction dude comes into the ER around 6pm says “I have a vibrator stuck in my ass. My girlfriend lost it up there around 2am.” I ask where he’s been all day. Says he: “I’ve been framing a house all day. I’m new on the job and couldn’t call in sick and had to wait until after work to come in. Thank God the batteries finally died around noon.”

Found a small lump on the left testicle I went to see the urologist, and when the nurse brought me to the room, inside there was a doctor with around 20 students. Doctor told me to lie down on bed and take my pants and underwear off. And not to worry about students, how they will be doctors one day as well. He put the gloves on, and proceeded with the exam, trying to find the lump by moving his fingers around my left testicle. After he finally found it, he called the first student, and told him to look for the lump. Every single person in that room was touching my balls That was weird as F

I had a ton of pain in my balls. And read too many TIFU by getting testicular torsion posts on here and a recent coworker who was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I went in to get the pain checked out. Wouldn’t go away, kept me up at night, just really freaked me out and hurt. After much inspection and touching. The doc asked about what kind of underwear I wear and I said boxers. He said he recommends getting boxer briefs as I have saggy balls and have most likely torn a ligament or muscle. I immediately bought some boxer briefs and sure enough by within a little over a month the pain had subsided. I paid $250 for the doc to tell me I have saggy balls and get new underwear.