Our physics professor once had held a remote lecture without turning his Google Meet on. So he just spoke to the computer for 1.5 hours.

I’ll use myself: I have skipped 3 grades, told I was gifted, all that jazz. Yesterday I looked at a streetlight for at least 10 solid minutes thinking, ‘jeez, the moon is orange tonight’. I was sober.

Friend of mine has a degree in Marine Biology. She sprayed herself in the face with my Bidet

I knew a girl studying medicine. We were talking about planes and how they work. She asked me where the engine is, and I said “you know those big spinny things?” She said “ohhh, I thought those were to blow the clouds away”….

One guy I went to school with said that English is the true language of God because The Bible is written in English

I'm a pharmacist. I have worked with fellow pharmacists who did not know that: - Lesbians menstruate - Women usually do not produce breast milk until after they have given birth - Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in blood transfusions

One time I was at my friend Claudio's apartment with his brother just hanging out and watching a movie. All of sudden I hear a *woosh* and see a big flash of light. I look over at Claud and his hair is on fire. We get it out quickly and I asked him what the hell just happened. He told me, "I was trying to listen to the sound the lighter made when I flicked it." We were completely sober at the time.

I've been waiting so long to tell this story. Two members of my family are very highly intelligent, so I always thought. I go to their house and they just installed an above ground pool that came with a pool COVER. Instead of using the pool cover they went and bought all these insulated pink foam boards (1 in thick, 4x8 ft rectangle foam boards) I just sat there and watched while they cut up all the foam into like puzzle pieces to fit in that ROUND pool. I asked them why and they said it was to keep leaves out of the pool. So every time they got in the pool they had to remove all the puzzle pieces, then clean the pool because tiny pink insulation was floating on top, and when they were finished for the day spend an hour trying to connect all the puzzle pieces they cut back into the pool. The original pool cover was by the pool in the bag it came in. The dumbest thing I've ever witnessed in my life.

My brother is very intelligent. He lived at home when attending college. Most days, he'd take the bus. Sometimes if my mom didn't need her car, he would be allowed to drive it to school. Multiple times he drove the car to school, forgot, and took the bus home.

Buddy of mine was in med school on a surgery rotation. He’s in the OR, handed a razor by the senior resident, and told to shave the patient as part of prep for surgery. Totally normal and common med student task. He starts shaving away at the guys chest. The way he tells it, this patient was really hairy, so he had to go clean off the razor multiple times. He’s trying to do a thorough job. Gets half of the guy’s chest done when the senior resident wanders back over. Turns out the surgery was for an appendectomy and he was supposed to shave his f*****g stomach. That poor guy woke up from surgery very f*****g confused about why half his chest hair was gone. And my friend got made fun of every day for the rest of his rotation.

My father in law could construct a new bladder out of a piece of your own intestinal lining, if you had bladder cancer and needed a new one. He’s saved thousands of lives that otherwise would have been lost to renal, prostate, and urinary tract diseases. He once told me that someone with a bright yellow car was intentionally hitting his Mercedes Benz. They’d hit his car and sideswiped it once while he was at the hospital. He had it fixed, it costs thousands of dollars. Then a few weeks later, the same bright yellow vehicle did it again, this time nearly tearing off his fender and leaving a huge yellow gouge down the side of his car. He took it to the body shop a second time. His next time visiting the hospital, the parking attendant said “Hey doc, it’s nice to see you. But I have to warn you….security was here and they’re kind of upset about the fire hydrant you’ve hit twice in the last month. I tried covering for you but apparently they’ve got it on video.”

I used to work at a chemical engineering plant. One day I was in the kitchen washing my glasses with a drop of dish soap and one of the lead engineers said I shouldn’t wash my glasses like that. I asked him why not and he responded that I will wash the prescription off…

My father in law is very intelligent. He taught himself how to solve a rubiks cube without looking anything up and is generally a genius in math, logic, puzzles what have you. He believes dinosaurs couldn't be real because they would be to big for their skeletons to uphold their weight. He has lots of other really stupid ideas because he is so intelligent he thinks he can just reason himself into correct conclusions without doing research or adhering to the scientific process

One of my best friends, who is now a surgeon, and one of the smartest people I have ever met. During his first year of med school he was visiting his hometown during a break in the semester. We were at a restaurant catching up, he ordered a milkshake for dessert that came with a maraschino cherry on top. He excitedly ate it then said something to the effect of "Man, I love maraschino cherries, I could eat a million of these. I always wanted to buy a jar, and eat it all to myself" To which I replied with "John, you're 24 years old. You own a house, have money in the bank, and are in med school. You're an adult, if you want to get yourself a jar of maraschino cherries, you can. We can hit up the store as soon as we're done here." He spent about 5 minutes struggling to process this new found information. You could almost see the gears in his head turning. After this brief delay, he looked at me with the biggest, almost childlike smile and said "Let's go now!!!" We paid our bill, then headed to the nearest grocery store. John the purchased the largest jar of maraschino cherries available, and started eating. Afterwards we went to a house party, where john refused to drink, but instead just kept eating from his jar. Long story short, he ate the entire jar in about 1 hour. 15 minutes later he started puking neon red cherries for the rest of the evening.

This guy who was literally a renowned brain surgeon, and written a few books. Seemed like a genius at first. But over time I heard more and more odd takes: * The holocaust happened because of gun control. If the jews had guns, Hitler woundn't have risen to power. This is a guy that has done surgeries to pull bullets out of people btw * Speaking of guns, he did not see why active shooters were such a threat. They could be dealt with by a group of people rushing them * Prison turns people gay. Straight people go to prison and come out gay * in 2015 he was concerned that that Obama would declare martial law and cancel the 2016 election * Lots of things are like slavery. Abortion is like slavery because the mother is controlling the fetus' body. Ohamacare is a form of slavery and a ploy for the government to control your body. This person is black btw. So yeah, those are just some of the odd views of Ben Carson

I had a friend with double degrees. One in computer science and one in Engineering. One day I opened the fridge and he was standing there and he said, "Where does yogurt come from?" He genuinely had no clue.

Oh, I almost forgot about this one! When I was in my final year of physics at university, we had a professor who would get very irritated at the pull string for the projection screen, as it would dangle down in front of the whiteboard. Every morning, he would spend a good couple minutes attempting to throw the weight on the end over the light fixture above the whiteboard, taking anywhere from 5 to 30 tries each time. All the students would give tips and encouragement, and this became a kind of inside joke for the class of how long it would take every morning. Months go by, and one day near the end of the quarter, we end up with a substitute. The sub goes to the board and, without hesitation, grabs the string and hooks it over a thumbtack stuck in the cork at the top of the whiteboard... The entire class literally gasped in unison! The sub whirled around, asking what happened, and the whole class just starts laughing. Eventually, someone explained what happened, and we all had a good laugh that an entire class of physics majors never even thought of that solution, let alone noticed that the tack had always been there for that purpose.

I have a friend, who is a straight A+ student and always overachieves on work. I had to explain to that same friend once that Albert Einstein was not from the 14th century Renaissance.

Well, my cousin who has two f*****g masters degrees in finance and economics, put his hand in still spinning lawnmower to help it blow out rest of grass faster. He lost a finger. I asked why he didn’t wait till it stopped completely. He said it was just in a hurry.