My grandma was in a car accident and broke her ankle so she stayed at my house and we took care of her while she recovered. I was entering puberty at the time and discovered that you could order porn on cable and was like a madman ordering porn.

The bill that month came out to $500 my mom thought it was my grandma because her novelas were on like channel 50-60 and the porn was 500-600 lmfaoooo. I’ve literally never told anyone to this day. -pinchefresona

My uncle owned an old Camaro that collected dust in his garage. When I was around 10 my family and I were in town visiting and I wrote the word “fuck” in the dust on the hood of the car. I used my thumb so that the letters were fatter than my normal index finger. A few hours later my aunt/uncle asked us who did it and I “proved” it wasn’t me by showing how the person who did it had bigger fingers than me. Taking that shit to my grave! -CLToris

That I didn't graduate from college. I failed one course my senior year, 2nd semester. The ceremony was already set up so they let everyone walk. I had no diploma in my award...nobody knows to this day and it's been 17 years. Failed one course, 3 credits. Was ashamed so I never went back for those 3 credits. So everyone believes I graduated. -TheLargeYard

I owe the bank $100k. -markoshenov

It's not my secret, but my mom's. And I'm not hiding it from everyone, just the person who it potentially matters to the most. When my mom was in high school in the 60s, she had a long-term serious boyfriend named Jimmy. They were each other's first, they were together for years, and were planning on getting married. He went away to college, my mom stayed behind, but they were still together. You know what happened next. He cheated and got the new girl pregnant. He comes home to break the news to my mom. Abortion was not legal at the time. He basically says that he wants to be with my mom, but he has no choice but to marry this other girl. My mom was devastated.

Here's the secret: my mom was also pregnant by him, but hadn't told him yet. She decided she wasn't ever going to tell him. Jimmy went on to marry the other girl and never knew my mom was also pregnant. She told me that she later threw herself down a flight of stairs to cause a miscarriage.

My mom actually reconnected with Jimmy during the early days of Facebook. She didn't have an account, but asked me to look for him using mine. He was still married to the same person. My mom was married to my dad. They wrote to each other for a while (using my account! ugh!) Signed their messages saying "I Love You."

My mom passed away a number of years ago. I think about this knowledge I have that Jimmy doesn't. This major life event thing that he doesn't even know happened. That could have changed the trajectory of many lives. I'm certainly not going to tell him. It's not my secret to tell. -kbivs

'Call me maybe' is my morning alarm. -chilloutjustin777

I had an IBS attack once and had to violently shit in a church grounds behind someone’s car. Used underwear to wipe too and left that there. Not proud. -gotanycrisps

I sometimes wonder if a bunch of people in an elevator are gonna stab me all at once. -DairyKing28

I would be perfectly ok with never talking to any of my immediate family again. -Dazzling-Toe-4955

My grandpa was stationed in Okinawa, Japan during the Korean war, while in the Marines. He hooked up with a woman there, and she got pregnant. So, I have a Japanese aunt and a few cousins, in Japan, whom I’ve never met before. -Cardinal270

Funny, light hearted story from my childhood. My little brother was in the shower, I could hear him singing. I put a coat on backwards, and a stocking cap pulled over my face, and waited outside the bathroom door. He opened the door (still singing, and dancing kinda), and I did the Frankenstein thing. Arms out, moaning “uhhhh”.

He screamed and fell backwards knocking the toilet completely over. Water went everywhere, the top of the toilet tank broke, shower curtain ripped down, and him laying on the floor in the middle of all this. I ran back down the hall; coat and hat off, and sauntered back casually. By then my mother and father and our sisters were there, and everyone is like, you know, what the hell. I’ve heard him tell this story as proof of the existence of ghosts. To this day (little feller is now a 52 year old bank manager with two kids)he believes in ghosts. I don’t feel a bit bad. -Jimmysweetspot

My wife is handicapped and I lied to her that I find it hard to clean/cut up mushrooms. She has self esteem issues because I can do things much easily than her. So I lied, and now she feels better. -bukake_attack

One of my closest co-workers, who is an integral part to our very large corporation killed a man in his late teens and threw the body in a lake. He only got off on a technicality. I work remotely so I don’t build a lot of personal relationships with people I work with regularly.

I googled his full name. It freaked me out at first. But I’ve kinda gotten over it. I wonder if anyone else knows. It happened 40+ years ago. He will retire soon and then I might ask another co-worker about it. I just don’t want to stir the pot. -adamsfan

My wife and I aren't officially married. No one knows. We had a ceremony and everything, reception... the whole nine yards. We just never did the official paperwork.

We realized that since she's going back to school, it benefits her financially to go through financial aid as "single" rather than "married." When she finishes up, we're going to head over to town hall and finish the last step. -JacPhlash

When I was around 9 years old I used my moms credit card to sign up my shitty alcoholic stepfather for a porn website in hopes of starting a fight and her leaving him. FYI - she did leave after another year or so. -pastelmewnicorn

When I was a teenager, I worked at a novelty tourist shop near me. Being the idiot that I was, I stole a wad of cash from the store. It was $100 in ones.

I told nobody, but they knew it was missing. Right about the same time, a coworker who was always trying to get me fired was telling someone she got about $100 in tips from her other job. They ended up firing her because they didn’t trust that it wasn’t her. -sdr79

Pest control technician here. You’re paying too much for pest control. Who ever you hired, unless it’s a fairly small company, they are ripping you off. Unless you have cockroaches or bedbugs, YouTube it. Times are hard enough right now. -gamermainer

I love my kids so much but I hate being a parent sometimes. -cawingcrowcaw

I never have "other plans" that I just can't cancel. -_GGfighter_

2 years ago one of my best friends and I went halfsies on a f*ck-ton of Xanax. On June 8th we both took Xanax from the batch we split. I woke up, he didn’t. No one knows I had anything to do with the drugs that killed him, and I don’t know if I can ever bring myself to tell someone. -agreatkingxerxes