“I can’t see my brother’s graduation.”

“The owner’s son at my work takes up 2 spaces in employee parking, closest to the employee entrance, EVERY DAY!”

“How my sister cuts lemons”

“I just bought a brand new $2,000 laptop. Guess where they placed the OFF button...”

“Some kids were having fun with their friends, so a neighbor reported to the HOA that they must be running a childcare.”

“Parents who raise their kids to think it’s okay to leave a library like this”

“Walked to work in a thunderstorm, but my boss forgot to tell me we all have today off.”

“How I know the mother-in-law visited”

“This is how my boyfriend opens cereal.”

“My bank sent me 28 letters in the mail to inform me I have opted out of receiving paper statements.”

“Where my mother-in-law left my toddler’s uneaten banana”

“A manicurist tried to tell me these are the same color.”

“Thanks, delivery people. I mean, why would anyone bother to take care of an obvious TV package?”

“People that use PC cables to rest their feet”

“You’re not allowed to call this a salad.”

“My mom, charging her phone”

“A famous baseball player from the ’90s apparently used to live at our address, and the fan mail won’t stop. This was just 4 days.”

“Teachers that leave the cursor on the play bar”

“My partner thought this was acceptable to put back in the fridge.”

“Sometimes I just don’t understand my wife’s thought process.”

“Do I just throw out the entire roommate?”