“Went fishing, caught 2 branches in a row, and went to take a sip of my beverage, except there was a bee in it.”

“Our front stairs randomly collapsed today.”

“Hail damage to my grandparents’ patio chair”

“The ear-shaped handle broke off of my Vincent van Gogh coffee mug.”

“Just normal milk shattered a glass perfectly in 2 and exploded the milk across the kitchen.”

“A circle of glass knocked out of a window by a chip of concrete thrown from a circular saw cutting kerbstone outside.”

“My new auto-folding umbrella just ejected when I tried to open it.”

.

“Must have been really windy to blow a window out!”

“I went to the gas station and came back to this.”

“Just started dating this guy a month ago, and I broke his shower door.”

“My roommate recently ran a marathon with a headband on, and it resulted in a mildly interesting tan line.”

“I broke my boyfriend’s tempered glass while cleaning up his PC, time to pack my bags because I’m gonna be single when he gets back home.”

“When you spray tan and don’t count ’Mississippilessly’”

“Mom, I swear it wasn’t me.”

“The way my pasta spilled”