“After weeks of fretting, we decided a dolly was the best way to move the pennies my dad has collected since 1989 in an antique glass water jug. We were wrong.”

“At one point I got 6 mosquitoes with one slap.”

“My shed has one of those locks that has a hinge and folds over. This was underneath when I stuck my fingers behind the lock.”

“My son teased his sister and she threw a Switch controller at my parent’s 75″ TV.”

RIP Tesla.

Found the Fork In the Road

“Boyfriend decided to try out a new hairdresser.”

“My AC exploded on a recording breaking heat wave in Oregon.”

“Water snake setup camp in the toilet.”

“My mother took up a hair cutting course 9 years ago. With just little practice she confidently lured my brother in for a haircut. This is the result.”

“Just bought the Costco sized laundry detergent jug yesterday.”

“My Mom ran over a mattress on the way home and it got caught under the rear driver side wheel and caught fire.”

“My only food halfway through my shift.”

“Had a bug in my bed (this is my elbow btw)”

“My friend fell down the stairs in our Airbnb.”

“Friend of mine hid my AirPods in a box of chicken nuggets that I proceeded to microwave without opening the box.”

“Accidentally made a magnifying glass when rain gathered on crash wrap covering a busted sunroof.”

“Came in a week ago to have my gallbladder removed. Lung collapsed during surgery and now I have pneumonia and I’m tethered to an oxygen tank.”

“It’s so hot the adhesive holding up my mirror failed.”

“Someone broke into my city’s free zoo and stole the donation money.”

“I’m new to gardening. Who’s hungry?”

“My bike chain breaks exactly halfway through a 25km ride. No repair tools.”