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23 Times Life Decided to Suck

When it hits the fan.

By Nathan Johnson

Published 3 years ago in Facepalm

Sometimes life is simply unkind. Sometimes it simply does not care.

It can be sort of like that unhinged psychopath who kidnapped most of the eBaums World interns last summer and released them into a maze filled with traps, Ninja Warrior-style obstacles and one very real minotaur.

Life can have a cruel sense of humor too. Similar to the aforementioned psychopath who placed arrows on the floor of the maze, ostensibly leading to the way out -- without ever mentioning the fact that there was no way out at all. Just an endless, circular maze.

Life is full of the unexpected. Like that psychopath's maze -- specifically, the fact that one of the interns did finally manage to escape by slaying the minotaur, donning its pelt, and feigning injury until I -- I mean the psychopath -- had emerged from the secret panel in one of the walls to inspect it.

By the time I found the pelt, he was already gone, leaving me all alone in an empty, blood-spattered maze with silence as my only companion. And that was a very bad day. But as bad the one these people were having.
  • 1

    Lost my phone at a construction site today. Found it a little later…

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 2

    Neighbor paid for tree removal under the table.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 3

    In ten seconds I’m going to discover the value of lifejackets and renter’s insurance.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 4

    My son teased his sister and she threw a Switch controller at my parent’s 75″ TV.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 5

    Enjoying the last few bites of my sandwich when…

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 6

    Waited five years for this cactus to bloom. Leaving for a five-day trip, I noticed this.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 7

    Ordered a new chlorinator for the pool, the instructions came on VHS.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 8

    My mother took up a haircutting course 9 years ago. With just little practice she confidently lured my brother in for a haircut. This is the result.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 9

    A friend of mine hid my AirPods in a box of chicken nuggets that I proceeded to microwave without opening the box.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 10

    Ate half a head of broccoli only to discover it was full of bugs.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 11

    My friend fell down the stairs in our Airbnb.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 12

    My town’s only Burger King burned down yesterday, taking flame-grilled burgers to the next level.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 13

    Tanned a bit too much while wearing shoes. Kids call them my chimp feet.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 14

    My AC exploded on a recording-breaking heat wave in Oregon.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 15

    Accidentally made a magnifying glass when rain gathered on crash wrap covering a busted sunroof.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 16

    Trying to catch a cactus that your cat knocked over…

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 17

    My freezer broke 2 days ago and I didn’t notice so now all of the meat we had in it is bad.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 18

    My Mom ran over a mattress on the way home and it got caught under the rear driver side wheel and caught fire.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 19

    Our entire hotel got seized by police on the first morning of our honeymoon.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 20

    No collision or vandalism. The window just decided it didn’t want to be a part of our car anymore.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 21

    Two teams of builders building bike lane “on the right side” (Mariupol, Ukraine)

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 22

    My shed has one of those locks that has a hinge and folds over. This was underneath when I stuck my fingers behind the lock.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

  • 23

    Someone at USPS tried to fold my package with a rare record inside it, $100 gone, and now one less of them in the world.

    23 Times Life Decided to Suck

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