Got into a fistfight with their mother outside the classroom door.

I’m a middle school teacher. I had a student sneak a gas cooker and his moms pork chops into school in a large backpack. He cooked pork chops for his friends at lunchtime, he was sent to the office for unsafe behaviour, his mom was PISSED he took her pork chops she was preparing for dinner.

A grade 1 student came up to me on the playground telling me another student was making her sick. She pointed to another student about 10 metres away, looked at me, and projectile puked on the blacktop. Went to the other student...he had found rabbit turds on the ground and stuck them in his mouth and was chasing kids around. I then puked. I didn't go to the office. But rabbit turd kid did.

A student repeatedly getting on tables and singing Gucci Gang in the middle of class. Every. Day. For. Weeks.

I sent a kid to the office because he told an incredibly funny joke and I wanted the dean to hear it. He thought it was great and sent the kid back. The joke was: Why are Catholics glad Jesus was crucified instead of stones to death (with rocks)? Because now they go (make the sign on the cross) instead of (punches himself randomly about the head and chest). To this day I have never laughed at a student's joke as hard as I did with this one.

When my sister was a substitute teacher a kid ate the dead class fish. It was Monday so it might’ve been dead all weekend

My Dad gets offered like 16 times the pay to be a professor in Pretoria...so we move to South Africa and he has this student who is just scoring like 8 out of a hundred, then 11, and then 7. At the end of class one day he calls this young lady by name and asks her to stay behind for a second. She walks forward and she is stunningly beautiful. My older sister explained she looked exactly like this Vendela Thommessen who was a sports illustrated swimsuit model....my Sis was with him that day, but behind the screen his projector was being displayed on and peeking around listening. My Dad says "I am afraid this work is a bit too advanced for you. I seen that you have taken the prerequisites and received A's in the classes...is something affecting your performance"? Now this girl has no idea my sister is behind the screen and this beauty says to my Dad "Well, I earned those A's the same way I am going to get an A in your class...on my knees". My Dad walked her to the Dean's office and when he returned my sister was crying and told my Dad he was a jerk for not praying with her. My sister was 10...

One kid kept stabbing another kid in the neck with a needle. The kid getting stabbed *didn't feel it*, but I saw it. The stabber was sent to the office, and the other kid was none the wiser.

I had to send a kid out of my room for an actual live wild rabbit in her backpack! She freaking caught it before she came to class. Fast 5 year old.

Kid in boarding tried to cook a whole raw chicken with like 5 minutes in the microwave. A whole chicken.

I had a student that cried every time I would try to encourage her to answer questions in front of the class. I stopped calling her to the board as I feared maybe she was facing pretty bad trauma or anxiety. So I let her do individual work. One day I find out she, during class time, kept sending inappropriate insulting texts around the class about some classmates and myself. When I emailed her mother about this, she went as far as to use her mother’s account to send me an email back saying “just leave her alone”. The next morning she made a remark that I was very inconsiderate for giving out homework when some students work, I was surprised seeing she suddenly spoke loud and interrupted me during class. She attempted to name other students that work after school just like her, but one of them, Aiden, stood up saying “So? I still get my homework done, except I don’t waste time gossiping about others and using crocodile tears when it comes to showing my understanding in class”. She was shocked, stood there for a little bit, and started crying, which clearly felt forced. I sent her straight to the office, from there called her mother to verify who sent the email, and had her come over for a long discussing.

I’m not a teacher but am a school psych. I don’t send kids to the office, but some of my teammates sure have… some highlights. Had a kid hop onto the counter the onto the big whiteboard case, and straight into the drop ceiling. He climbed around up there yelling and screaming, knocking down ceiling tiles, before we finally coaxed him down. One girl took a class chair and shattered a window in a classroom’s back office. On another day, this same girl gave the assistant principal and me a watercolor paint shower. I was lucky… I was standing just behind the AP and only got a few splatters on my jacket while she ended up getting the full blast. I lied… I guess I have sent a few kids to the office… once… and all at once. It was last year, and I pull into the parking lot of the junior high school I work at. I get a text and pull up my iPad to reply when I realize something is happening in my peripheral vision. I look up to see five students surrounding one other student who is on the ground getting the s**t beat out of him. I’m an ex hockey player. I liked scrapping when I was a middle and high schooler. I have a very high standard for what I even consider a proper fight. This was a one sided gang beat down. I go flying out of my rig, and charge up to them. “OY!!!” I shout in a kid’s face, startling him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and a mask, so I could only see his eyes, which were wide with shock. Glad I had that effect, as I was woefully outnumbered, I just kept shouting like a drill instructor… “STAND UP!! GET IN LINE!! MOVE!!” Having asserted moral authority, I quite literally marched this line of kids to the office. The victim of that assault was bruised but otherwise okay. I’m kinda glad it was me who came across it and not the majority of my peers. I’m a relatively tall guy in good shape. I can be intimidating if I need to be, and in that situation, I needed to be.

Tossing a chair at a fellow student's head because they didn't want to let them cheat. Then the follow up with the lovely mother who could not grasp that her kid was being suspended and that she would have to pay medical bills. The other student had a deep gash on his shoulder and I was bruised on my left side from trying to intervene.

Not a teacher, but my dad was a bus driver, and one day, this kid gets on the bus, sprinting, and nearly knocks himself out on the chair. When my dad goes over to see what's happened, he realises the kid had no pants on. The mother, who drove off in her car extremely quickly, had literally sent this poor kid to school with no pants on. My dad got a student he knew really well to sit next to this kid and comfort him, and also make sure everyone else wasn't a******s. My dad, when he finally got to the school, walked this kid into the office and asked for a spare pair of pants. Poor kid. That mother was an a*****e.

South Side Chicago: There was some kid munching down on a T-Bone steak in class. The succulent, delicious meat was distracting the other students, so they sent him to the office to finish it off! Unclear if he was going for the name "T-Bone". No idea how this errant T-Bone was obtained, but it look and smelled like it was freshly made.

Jesus my mom. There was a stench in the classroom but they couldn't figure it out for months. A boy was making POOP balls in his desk. Rolling up his turds and putting them where pencils would go on the sides. She has completely blacked out this whole thing.

I had to write a kid up during Remote School during the pandemic because he used a smoke machine to pretend his room was on fire and then he abruptly dropped out of the zoom for the rest of the day

Was sitting at my desk one day and a student calls out “hey mister watch this” and then brandishes a bottle of listerine mouthwash and chugs it down in 5 seconds. He then burps and asks if he could go to the nurse so I kindly sent him on his way.

One student bit another student in the arm. He was shocked that I kicked him out because he was "just playing". He left teeth marks in her arm. This was a 9th grader.

Not a teacher, but a former classmate decided it was a brilliant idea to stay inside the classroom during a break, open the teacher's laptop, pull out every single key and put them all inside a transparent bag next to the trash can

He stole a door.

Kid shows up to class 10-15 minutes late to a 40-minute period. 7th grade. Shawn: “Sorry Ms. G I was in a bad mood and I didn’t want to bring it to class.” Me: “Hi Shawn, I will still have to count you tardy. You’re extremely late and I need to know where you are for safety reasons. In the future there’s a counselor request form on my GoogleClassroom page you can fill out.” Shawn: “Okay thanks” Things went normally for about 10 minutes, until another student shot a rubber band. It didn’t hit anyone but Shawn decided to take justice into his own hands. In the middle of me giving instruction he gets up, walks slowly across the room (I assumed for a tissue) and smacks the other student across the face.

School Counselor here who is forced against their will to mostly remediate behavior. 2nd grader coming back from suspension shouting I’m back mother f**kas upon returning into the room. 4th grader calling other students parents to tell on them. (I thought it was pretty creative despite everyone else being up in arms). 3rd grader having a meltdown about getting parents called. Not in itself a big deal. But the student then shouts, “and they take all their parenting advice from Britney! I hate BRITNEY!” 2nd grader kicking the cane out from beneath an elderly sub. 4th grade gambling ring based of the schools token economy. 5th grade “snack bandit” who covertly sold snacks because the schools food is so bad. (Again not sure why everyone was up in arms). I can go on…