24 Things People Learned Late in Life
Nathan Johnson
Published
06/03/2024
It's better late than never
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1.
That Jessica Rabbit wasn't actually a rabbit and that "Rabbit" was her last name because she married Roger. I was in my 20s when I figured it out. -
2.
Until 2018 I thought Elon Musk was a kind of truck stop bathroom cologne, from the makers of Jovan Musk. I really wish it was true. -
3.
I'm from Belgium and I was nearly 30 when I found out what really happened in Congo. We just casually brushed over that part in high school history as "it was the fashion at the time to colonize. We left when they were self-sufficient enough to run their own country, and then they effed it up". -
4.
Hump day is referring to the middle of the week, like over the hump, and not the day everyone humps. I always found it weird at my office job when someone would say happy hump day, like dude I’m pretty sure you can’t say that here. I was 27 when I realized. -
5.
My uncle once told me if I got a thousand bee stings I’d die. He meant all at once. For years, I thought he meant cumulatively. And I kept count. -
6.
That the bad moon is on the rise, not the bathroom on the right. I ruined that song for my mom when I told her what I heard lmao. -
7.
Can I point to something that other ppl were wrong about? I was in a room full of ppl discussing a cruise some of them took to and around Alaska. I asked if they saw any narwhals, and they all - the entire room looked at me dumbfounded, and some started laughing. Every single one of them thought narwhals were mythical creatures. I still can’t believe it. I guess they should be embarrassed bc I don’t think many of them even looked it up and I guess I should be a little embarrassed that ppl actually don’t think they’re real. -
8.
The little arrow on my dash beside the gas pump icon points to the side of the car with the gas door. Rental cars were a 50/50 shot of getting it right if I forgot to look first before driving, so it was a good thing to learn. At 40 years old. Haha. -
9.
A cup is a unit of measurement. I always wondered how you could have one cup of something in a recipe when everyone has different cups. -
10.
That a quart is a **quart**er of a gallon. Duh. -
11.
That the song 'The Macarena' is actually about a woman who was sleeping around while her husband was a conscript at war. The "one and a two and a three Macarena'!" lyric is actually counting outloud the amount of men she had sex with. We sang that song and did that dance in gym class in middle school!! -
12.
I thought the term "birthday suit" meant a suit you're literally supposed to wear on your birthday. -
13.
Pumpkin spice does not actually taste like pumpkin :/. -
14.
That cattle is just the species name for cows and bulls. I thought it was a closely related but separate species until like grad school -
15.
That Rhode Island isn’t an Island. I learned that at 53 years old. -
16.
I've never heard someone say Yosemite out loud, I've been reading it as Yo sem ight lmao. -
17.
That the ABC song and twinkle twinkle little star song have the same melody. I was 27 years old when I realized it. Blew my mind then -
18.
Until I was 19, I thought fly fishing was fishing out of a plane or helicopter. I figured it just flew really low and slow and that they had really long fishing lines. -
19.
That fallopian tubes aren't connected to the ovaries. They have finger-like appendages and float around over to where the egg is released to grab the egg. The egg just free floats in your abdomen void waiting to get picked up. Oh and if you only have one tube, it can make it over to the other ovary to get the egg there sometimes. -
20.
It’s chest of drawers and not Chester drawers. -
21.
Carrot cake is really made with carrots. I thought because they usually pipe a little carrot on the top and the fact you ate it around Easter they just called it that for no other reason. -
22.
Its coleslaw not coldslaw. I just... never looked at the menus to hard. Coldslaw makes sense its cold. Who is Cole??? -
23.
The crust of the bread does not in fact contain all the nutrients. -
24.
A girl I knew thought roadside memorials were actual graves.
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