1

The past, present, and future walk into a bar…it was very tense

2

The U.N. is really just a country club.

3

What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

4

A tachyon. Knock knock. Who’s there?

5

I was going to tell you a joke about UDP, but I'm afraid you won't get it.

6

If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate

7

When Noah told the animals to go and multiply, two snakes replied, "But we can't multiply because we're adders." So Noah cut down a tree and built a table. The next day he called them and said, "Even though you are adders, you can now multiply. I have built you a table of logs."

8

Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip? To get to the same side

9

Oscar Wilde said he could make a pun on any subject. Someone suggested the Queen. Without skipping a beat, Oscar responds, "The Queen is not a subject."

10

This sentence cotnains exactly two errors.

11

Why do anarchists only drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

12

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…followed by Batman

13

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Tell them to pronounce “unionized” (un-ionized)

14

A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?" The German responds, "Nein, just one."

15

I, for one, like Roman numerals

16

Entropy isn't what it used to be

17

What do you get if you integrate 1/cabin with respect to cabin? A log cabin by the sea

18

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

19

A neutrino walks through a bar…

20

Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my mom and dad fighting?

21

Did you know that at absolute zero you would be 0K?

22

What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? The etymologist could tell you

23

Buddha walks into pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything."

24

Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

25

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?