25 Intellectual Jokes That Will Really Make You Think

Nathan Johnson Published 07/14/2016 in wow

You either appreciate dry humor, or you don’t.

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1.
A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?" The German responds, "Nein, just one."
2.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
3.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
4.
Buddha walks into pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything."
5.
What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? The etymologist could tell you
6.
Did you know that at absolute zero you would be 0K?
7.
Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my mom and dad fighting?
8.
A neutrino walks through a bar…
9.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
10.
What do you get if you integrate 1/cabin with respect to cabin? A log cabin by the sea
11.
Entropy isn't what it used to be
12.
I, for one, like Roman numerals
13.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar…it was very tense
14.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Tell them to pronounce “unionized” (un-ionized)
15.
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…followed by Batman
16.
Why do anarchists only drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
17.
This sentence cotnains exactly two errors.
18.
Oscar Wilde said he could make a pun on any subject. Someone suggested the Queen. Without skipping a beat, Oscar responds, "The Queen is not a subject."
19.
Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip? To get to the same side
20.
When Noah told the animals to go and multiply, two snakes replied, "But we can't multiply because we're adders." So Noah cut down a tree and built a table. The next day he called them and said, "Even though you are adders, you can now multiply. I have built you a table of logs."
21.
If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate
22.
I was going to tell you a joke about UDP, but I'm afraid you won't get it.
23.
A tachyon. Knock knock. Who’s there?
24.
What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
25.
The U.N. is really just a country club.

1.
A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?" The German responds, "Nein, just one."
2.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
3.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
4.
Buddha walks into pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything."
5.
What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? The etymologist could tell you
6.
Did you know that at absolute zero you would be 0K?
7.
Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my mom and dad fighting?
8.
A neutrino walks through a bar…
9.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
10.
What do you get if you integrate 1/cabin with respect to cabin? A log cabin by the sea
11.
Entropy isn't what it used to be
12.
I, for one, like Roman numerals
13.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar…it was very tense
14.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Tell them to pronounce “unionized” (un-ionized)
15.
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…followed by Batman
16.
Why do anarchists only drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
17.
This sentence cotnains exactly two errors.
18.
Oscar Wilde said he could make a pun on any subject. Someone suggested the Queen. Without skipping a beat, Oscar responds, "The Queen is not a subject."
19.
Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip? To get to the same side
20.
When Noah told the animals to go and multiply, two snakes replied, "But we can't multiply because we're adders." So Noah cut down a tree and built a table. The next day he called them and said, "Even though you are adders, you can now multiply. I have built you a table of logs."
21.
If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate
22.
I was going to tell you a joke about UDP, but I'm afraid you won't get it.
23.
A tachyon. Knock knock. Who’s there?
24.
What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
25.
The U.N. is really just a country club.