“Chose The Wrong Spaghetti Sauce? Put Your Bolognese Into The Washing Machine And Start Afresh!”

“Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You’re Having A Shitty Evening.”

“The lid on most medicine containers can be used to measure serving size!” (I can’t stress enough how not-true that is…)

“Phone battery at 50%? Cut it in half to make it 100% full! Works on all types of batteries!”

“If you don’t have enough to light a candle, take a match and concentrate its light on the wick of the candle with a magnifying glass.”

“Don’t feel like paying for food?”

“Food seasoning cost too much? Check your sidewalks, people are throwing out perfectly good seasoning salt for free!”