“It was a fun time at 1:26 am at my store tonight.”

“I broke my jaw and now i have to wear this bad-boy for two to four weeks.”

“We had 6 eggs left. I thought I would scramble then for breakfast. The 6th one I cracked in the bowl was completely rotten.”

“I sneezed and they flew off of my face RIP.”

“Someone was kind enough to help rearrange the books in my little library last night.”

“Morning coffee on my birthday.”

Roast chicken sandwich.

“I just found out this isn’t me… my parents never took out the stock photo and it’s been there for like ten years.”

“I was told “some” boxes fell over in the warehouse.”

“My parents mistook a brining bag for an oven bag, and the plastic melted all over the turkey.”

“It’s so hot in Australia, our outdoor lights melted.”

“My door handle could no longer handle being handled.”

“The heel of my shoe broke 3 hours into a 10 hour shift. On Black Friday. In retail.”

“Someone stole wheels from my first car.”

“First day back in the office. Bought a dozen Krista Kreme donuts to take home to family. Went for lunch and someone snapped them off my desk.”

“First 45 seconds into this ski season and this happens… Complete ACL and MCL tear, crutches for 6 weeks, and surgery.”

“Apparently single use chopsticks can break metal.”

They’re evolving.

“Saw this on FB with someone asking for a contractor. Holy shit!”

“Didn’t realize one of my glove fingers broke until I was done dyeing my hair.”

“Don’t worry I got the cranberries” she said.

“So how’s y’alls morning going?”

“Fell down the stairs yesterday while half asleep, banged my hip.”