Ventriloquism is the old and evil art of talking to a doll on stage. It used to be really popular back in the day, and it’s hard to imagine why. “Hey kids, let’s all hop in the horse-drawn carriage and go watch a weird guy play with a horrifying puppet!”

How anyone could watch these dummies move and talk without running out of the room screaming is beyond me. And people were laughing? And applauding? And paying money to see these abominations? Times really have changed.