“Worked with concrete without gloves … didn’t know it’s corrosive.”

OOPS!

“A plane crashed into my friend backyard (no injuries!)”

“Wife helped me put sunscreen on.”

“I may or may not have mistook this for toothpaste this morning…”

Just trying to wake up is hard sometimes.

“Someone at USPS tried to fold my package with a rare record inside it, $100 gone and now one less of them in the world.”

“Black cab ran me over, dragged me left for a few feet, backed away and drove off.”

“My keys decided I’m not going anywhere today.”

“Two teams of builder building bike lane “on the right side” (Mariupol, Ukraine)”

“My air conditioner stopped working for a few days. My house got so hot and humid, it sealed my entire Costco size case of envelopes.”

“Brand new roll of wrapping paper wasn’t quite big enough to cover the box, too late to go out and get more, hopefully he won’t see it?”

“Got home from work, ready to have some blueberries and wine. And then the bag broke.”

It’s not delivery, it’s misery.

“Tornado-driven murder-branch impales my house directly above my kid’s bed.”

“Red Robin has pizza now, but when you customize the order it defaults to no cheese and no sauce. I didn’t notice it until I got home from curbside pickup.”

“A floating cafe near where I live just sank.”

“A spider decided that i should be the next spiderman and jumped to my face. Fell hands first to marble flooring from 14ft.”

Is that where the gluten was?

“Arizona problems: left my credit card in my car and it melted.”

“So I had a sneezing fit while driving yesterday and….”

“Started my internship today. Squatted down to get my phone and my pants ripped…”