My dad once told me that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary. 18 years later, I got the joke.

As a kid my uncle would play this joke where he would put his hand on your head and make like a jellyfish squeezing your head a little, and say “this is a brainsucker, know what it’s doing? Starving!” I would always laugh but did not get it until I was like 25

Until i was 19 and away at college i did not know that milk curdles or bread molded. I grew up in a family of 8 and we went through that stuff so fast.

I thought orgasm was a nice word for fart when I was 10. Told my mom I had so many orgasms that my stomach hurt.

Fruit Loops are all the same flavor. I was 27, and I still remember the shock of finding out Toucan Sam had been lying to me my whole life.

That the opposite sex does not owe me anything for my kindness.

I don't know why but whenever someone mentioned that a piece of furniture (or often the dashboard of a nice car) was walnut, I kind of thought they meant the nut and shells all crushed up and smoothened and I wondered how they did it. Then, in my thirties, I realized they probably make it from the tree. Felt like a right walnut that day.

I didn’t know how to write in print until my first year of college. Up to that point, I only learned cursive, and my teachers were so happy that someone willingly used cursive that they just went along with it.

An old co worker was 21 or 22 when he discovered that Ponies aren't just juvenile horses, but like another thing entirely. He spent an entire day walking up to anyone he could find going "Hey did you know" it was hilarious.

I was deep into my teens when I realized it’s “make ends meet” instead of “make end’s meat”. I always visualized it as procuring the last bit of food you could in tough times. Wrong!

I always thought that if a guy didn't hold his penis while he was peeing, that it would whip around like a fire hose.

that I couldn't drink my problems away and that drinking was the problem. 4 years sober

Prima Donna is not Pre Madonna.

Oh this question was meant for me. I was 16 years old when I learned “flooriting” was not a word. I grew up watching a LOT of SpongeBob and it was my favorite show. In the show, SpongeBob always fails his driving test because he will always “floor it” instead of driving slowly. When I was little I thought that “floorit” was a single word that meant to go fast and always assumed that someone could be “flooriting” or going very fast. Fast forward to driving school. I’m in the car with the instructor and another student. I’m driving slowly on the highway and someone aggressively passes me. I made some nervous comment like “man, he’s really flooriting!” And the car just gets really quiet for a second. Then the other student in the car goes, “flooriting? What?” And that’s when I realized. It all crashed down on me at once. FLOOR IT. It was two different words. It meant putting the gas pedal on the floor. I was shook. I kinda gasped and couldn’t even respond because I was overwhelmed. It’s been 8 years and I still have never had such a strong, sudden realization of anything. And secretly I still kinda use “flooriting” in my head sometimes.

Tasmanian devils are not made up by Looney Tunes

The Paralympics and the Special Olympics are not the same thing. I feel terrible.

The meaning of birthday suit. I was 26 at the time.

That the delete key on the keyboard deletes to the right of the cursor. Backspace deletes to the left and I would always move the cursor to hit backspace instead of just hitting delete.

Octopuses have BEAKS Edit: OK NERDS "OCTOPI" ISN'T THE ONLY TECHNICALLY CORRECT TERM AND I'M NOT CHANGING IT.

That narwhals were real. I genuinely thought they were myth until I saw them on a David Attenborough documentary. Mind. blown.

the end pieces of a loaf of bread keep the bread fresher, longer, so you should not eat them until the very end of the loaf. This I learned at 52.

You have to adjust baking instructions for high altitudes

At seven years old, I realized that the moon is not the back of the sun. A few years later, it turns out that no matter how good you are to your cat, it doesn't grow up to be a dog.

That being an edgelord with a chip on your shoulder isn't cool. Any age is embarrassingly late to grow out of it

It took me 10 years and $20,000 to figure out how credit cards were supposed to be used.

I didn't know that the sound you make when you snap your fingers came from the middle finger hitting the ball of the thumb. I don't even know why I didn't know that. I just never thought about it

That hummingbirds don't have wings like a helicopter.

That Yosemite is pronounced “yo-sem-ity” and not “yo-zmite”

That envelopes are inexpensive. Growing up, my parents didn't have much money, so they were very frugal and didn't waste anything. I drew on an envelope one time and my mom fussed a bit because I already had drawing paper and envelopes were only for mail and that I shouldn't waste them. Fair enough. When I moved out for college, I didn't really need to mail anything because email existed and I lived close enough to home to just drive there if I really needed something. When I did have to mail something, I just bought an envelope and stamp together at the post office. It was expensive, but it just reenforced my thought that envelopes are expensive. Paying bills online came about around the time I graduated, so again, I infrequently needed envelopes, and only bought one at a time when I did. After getting married, my wife volunteered to handle all of our bills and taxes because she likes doing it. So again, I am not buying envelopes. Finally, at age 38, I found my daughter drawing on an envelope. I gently chided her and told her that envelopes are too expensive to just draw on them and to use her drawing pad instead. My wife overheard me and asked what the hell I was talking about. I explained and she laughed for ten minutes before she calmed down enough to show me the box of 40 envelopes she got at the dollar store. Lesson learned.

That emperor penguins are only about 4 ft. tall, not 6 ft. like I imagined.