35 Bizarre Ways To Die
monsters244
Published
12/31/2013
All Of These Have Happened At Least Once
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1.
Crashing Your Racecar When A Bird Flies Into Your Face -
2.
Getting Hit In The Balls By A Tennis Ball -
3.
Committing Suicide In Prison Using A Bomb Made Out Of Playing Cards That Had A Flammable Chemical In Their Red Ink -
4.
Being Poisoned By A Modified Umbrella -
5.
Having Your Long Scarf Get Caught In The Wheel Of The Car You Are Riding In, Thus Breaking Your Neck -
6.
Swinging A Baseball Bat So Hard That It Ruptures Your Bladder -
7.
Being Poisoned, Shot In The Head, Shot Three More Times, Bludgeoned, Castrated, And Then Thrown Into A River Only For The Cause Of Death To Be Drowning -
8.
Having Your Costume Set Ablaze By An Errant Disposed Match -
9.
Having Your Race cars Drive Chain Snap And Decapitate You -
10.
Being Electrocuted On stage By A Live Microphone -
11.
Being Crushed To Death Between A Moving Wall And A Stationary Wall In A Disneyland Ride -
12.
Being Struck By A Flying Model Lawnmower At A New York Jets Halftime Show -
13.
Playing Starcraft For Too Long -
14.
Throwing Yourself Through A Window Trying To Illustrate That The Glass Is Unbreakable. In Fairness The Glass Didnt Break, But Popped Out Of The Window Frame -
15.
Having A Stroke After Reading A Negative Premature Obituary Of Yourself -
16.
Having A Surfboard On Your Convertible Hit Another Car, Spin Around, And Break Your Neck -
17.
Accidentally Torpedoing Your Own Ship -
18.
Being Crushed By Several 25-Pound Boxes Of Quarters When Braking Suddenly, While Driving A Brinks Truck -
19.
Accidentally Shooting Yourself In Court While Demonstrating To A Jury How Your Clients Alleged Victim Might Have Accidentally Shot Himself -
20.
Being Crushed In Your Car By A Rolling Bale Of Hay -
21.
Being Crushed Or Drowned By Molasses. Boston Molasses Disaster 1919 -
22.
Riding Your Segway Off Of A Cliff -
23.
Being Hit By A Canon ball That Was Fired As A Salute To You -
24.
Being Hit By A Pitch -
25.
Winning A Bet That You Could Have Continuous Sex With Two Women For 12 Hours Straight -
26.
Drowning In A Flood Of Beer Or Being Injured In A Beer Flood Or Getting Alcohol Poisoning In A Beer Flood. London Beer Flood 1814 -
27.
Choking On An Eye Drop Bottle Cap -
28.
Handcuffing Yourself To A Tree In A Remote Forest And Throwing The Key Out Of Reach -
29.
Sticking A Piece Of Whale Bone Through Your Urinary Tract To Clear A Blockage -
30.
Being Bit By A Monkey -
31.
Drinking Yourself To Death With Carrot Juice -
32.
Overeating At A Feast Given In Your Honor -
33.
Falling Down A Chimney Into The Furnace After Mistaking The Chimney For A Balcony -
34.
Being Crushed By Giant Stacks Of Newspapers, Books, And Other Large Items That You Have Been Hoarding -
35.
Laughing Yourself To Death Watching The Goodies
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