I forgot the Pepsi was in the back of my car, and it was -16 Fahrenheit night before last.

This pillar was straight last week. This is the first floor of a seven-floor building.

Today’s my birthday. No one could make it over for pizza and games, the power went out and I twisted my ankle because I couldn’t see coming down the stairs. It’ll be me, the guitar, and some tears tonight. Happy 20th to me!

A seagull somehow managed to shit directly into my GFs ear while she was walking.

So part of the automated chicken feeding system broke today.

I’m starting to think this view isn’t worth golfers aiming directly at our homes.

-25 outside. Heavy grocery bag. No gloves. Long reunion/chat with old friend in parking lot. Gravity.

That time I went to London and finally got to see Big Ben.

Ordered a new chlorinator for the pool, the instructions came on VHS.

When you’ve been looking forward to a Reese’s all day but then you open one up and find a worm in it.

We heard crash in the middle of the night – though that was a thief but it was this.

“2021 Dad of the Year” ladies and gentlemen. I told her to shower, instead of rinse her hair out, right after dying it.

Bottle of sweet & sour sauce exploded in my bag.

So how is your morning going?

Before and after of my uninsured femur break.

UPS delivered my new monitor today (by dropping it over a 7 ft spiked wall).

I think I need to find a new barber.

I dropped my nearly full vile of insulin on the floor and it broke… (I have a spare but that’s 60+ bucks I’ll never get back).

Tried to buzzcut my hair because all the barbers were closed, clipper called it quits halfway through. 4 days until my Amazon one arrives.

See those eggs? They are supposed to be in the pies. I made two hot oily chocolate garbage circles.

Currently stuck in an elevator in my apartment building, was told about 40 minutes until the tech arrives and I have to pee.

Anyone else have to remove their washer agitator because they washed a new box of staples, or is it just me?

Someone managed to lose their new box of…lost-item trackers.

My mother took up a hair cutting course 9 years ago. With just little practice she confidently lured my brother in for a haircut. This is the result.

Someone’s nail got stuck in the elevator button.

Person fined for speeding while their car was being towed.

Been waiting 6 weeks for a rather expensive toilet so we can fit it at a client’s house, it has finally arrived.

Wife sent me to the store for sugar on my way home and I didn’t realize what happened until I went to put it in the trunk. Figured I’d share my misery.

WALKED into the chiro for minor back pain, left in a wheelchair straight to the ER with paralyzing sciatic nerve pain.

My dad’s decided to grow tomatoes this year, here is the harvest.

Friend bought a new $500 speaker today, tripped on the stairs 4 stories up while carrying it above his head.

Mistakes were made.

5 y/o opened the Perler Beads upside down.

“You are NOT going to believe what happened while you were gone.”