“My sister called and asked why her dryer kept stopping.”

“Coworker of mine chopped his phone in half today.”

“As a practical joke, some co-workers wrapped my office in foil. My 30” LCD monitor was accidentally turned on and boiled itself."

“My kid during his birthday safari”

“My spatula broke making eggs this morning.”

“My girlfriend rips my socks with visible holes to force me to buy new ones.”

“The tree decided today was the day it would fall over. Landed on some poor person’s car.”

“Wife bought a new plant pot and put it on the shelf over the toilet. And an hour later, we heard a crash...”

“Sorry class, my dog ate everyone’s homework.”

“My dough turned into a monster.”

“My uncle’s suitcase after his flight.”

“Made a pie today. Dropped a pie today.”

“I’ve eaten 2 blueberry waffles, then saw the package was for the plain waffles. I ate mold.”

“I was the only one who attended my b-day party. So I got some balloon friends to join.”

“I told my stepson 20 times do not drive my car! My lease is up, I got a buyer & I will make some good $ off the deal, no accidents, under mileage, no stains on inside and not a scratch on the exterior. He crashed it twice on the same day a mile from the house and 200 yards apart from each crash.”

“Picked up some chicken. I wish I would have investigated the unusual tenderness before I bit in.”

“Cat tipped over my new TV..”

“Came from a walk to see my house on fire.”

“Ordered a cake for a coworkers 40th birthday…”

“Essential oil destroyed the stain on my brand new kitchen island. “

“The door fell off the fridge and smashed full bottles of maple syrup and soy sauce.”

“Forgot to take my Coke out of the freezer”

“Closed some papers in my laptop and didn’t realize there was a staple in the corner. Repair center said it would cost around $850.”

“My partner accidentally dropped a knife on my foot, severing a tendon. I had to have surgery.”

“Just finished cooking dinner and knocked an entire bottle of olive oil on the tiles.”

“Got a new, spare fridge for my basement and stocked it with several cases of spindrift the moment it was delivered. Went to grab them to set up for my youngest son’s first birthday party, and I discovered that the fridge had been delivered in freezer mode. . .at least my beer was upstairs.”

“Went to bed in a new rental and happened to notice a dark moving spot as I was about to fall asleep, turned on the light and saw this crawling on my bed.”

“My wife says her tongue is still numb..”

“I ran to Wendy’s for a quick bite between meetings. After a long wait I got my order and drove back to work. There, I discovered that they had forgotten to add the burger to my burger.”

“My 6 year old swung on the gate ONCE.”

"The landlord refloored the lobby in front of my wife's restaurant and now she can't open the front door."

"I've been stuck in traffic for seven hours on I84 westbound. No option to turn around"

"My favorite pot exploded while warming up"

"They they were replacing the railings on the apartment building I live in...I don't even know how this could happened..."

"Was lying in bed when I heard a pop and shattering glass...."

"My pool exploded while we were asleep."

"My French Press Exploded"

"Was sitting and enjoying dinner…"

"This was my only key"