“Mechanic broke my car key.”

’’I grew a beard to keep my face warm this winter...’’

’’Foot on armrest’’

’’I bought a deodorant with a spider in it.’’

’’This was how my entire 4-hour flight went today.’’

’’I guess I’m not having corn tonight.’’

’’6 months into buying this bed...’’

’’I let my friend borrow my honey. This is how it came back.’’

’’I decided to cook for a change.’’

’’The way my brother eats ice cream’’

’’Can you bring scissors on a plane?’’

’’$13.50 for the soda and the cheeseburger’’

’’The amount of bread we throw away sometimes at a supermarket’’

’’I drove about 1 hour to get my dinner, but this happened as soon as I got out of my car when I reached home.’’

“I guess I’m done with my drink.”

“This is how my pho delivery arrived. I paid extra to get the fresh noodles.”

“Ordered this, then the cheese was left out.”

“Tragedy struck my world today. I could really use some support right now.”

“Didn’t have the realization until I was 30 minutes into class. I have no idea when I lost it.”

“This man took off his smelly shoes on the train and then put them up on the seat.”

“My watch got one-shotted because of a single slip at tennis practice.”

“The computers at my school”

“I woke up to this, and it’s because of my cat.”

“Some pillows shouldn’t be machine-washed.”

“Both the saddle and mudguard are gone.”

“This was the package that arrived to me.”

“I was about a quarter into it already.”

“These are my coffee filters.”

“I bought this cookie sheet last night. In the parking lot it slid out of my shopping cart and immediately got run over by a Jeep.”

“My bathroom’s vanity drawer slid open by itself and is now blocking the only way into the bathroom. I can only open the door about 1cm.”

“Fridge Caused A Bunch Of Soda To Explode.”

“My brother cut my laptop charger and is mad I didnt react.”

“I finally got a job last week! …and my house burned down today.”