20 Pics of the ‘After Dark’ Collection from Build-A-Bear

zachnading Published 02/04/2022 in Funny

Just in time for Valentine's Day, get her what she really wants; a stuffed teddy bear with daddy issues.

Step aside 4-year-olds, mommy and daddy need some play time too! Apparently that's what Build-A-Bear was thinking when they decided to release their 'After Dark' collection.

That's right fellas. Get your girl the sassiest and sexiest teddy bear this Valentine's day. Does your significant other love drinking White Claw in their pajamas? Perfect! Does your lady get turned on by seductive pugs? We've got the stuffed animals for you!

Joking aside, what are adults supposed to do with these things? Set the bear upright in the bed as they go to town on each other? I'm genuinely both confused and intrigued by this entire collection.

So break out the eye-bleach and enjoy the 20 'After Dark' photos courtesy of Build-A-Bear. Happy Valentine's Day.

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1.
I'm very uncomfortable.
2.
Champagne Papi.
3.
This one's for the millennials.
4.
Ohh I get it, like 'crap.'
5.
Sassy.
6.
The marketing for this is just...something.
7.
I like that they're honing in on the true spirit of Valentine's day; Getting drunk.
8.
Cozy AF.
9.
Giving out life lessons.
10.
Why is this one naked?
11.
Dang this one is keeping its resolutions apparently.
12.
Why does this pug look like it wants to bang???
13.
Build-a-basic-b*tch
14.
So these smell like actual roses. That's way too sexy for a teddy bear.
15.
Bro this bear is drinking a seltzer in pajamas.
16.
Only if it smells like a white wine.
17.
For all of those student-teacher affairs.
18.
They know their audience.
19.
This is aggressive but I like the pizza.
20.
SO MUCH BOOZE.

1.
I'm very uncomfortable.
2.
Champagne Papi.
3.
This one's for the millennials.
4.
Ohh I get it, like 'crap.'
5.
Sassy.
6.
The marketing for this is just...something.
7.
I like that they're honing in on the true spirit of Valentine's day; Getting drunk.
8.
Cozy AF.
9.
Giving out life lessons.
10.
Why is this one naked?
11.
Dang this one is keeping its resolutions apparently.
12.
Why does this pug look like it wants to bang???
13.
Build-a-basic-b*tch
14.
So these smell like actual roses. That's way too sexy for a teddy bear.
15.
Bro this bear is drinking a seltzer in pajamas.
16.
Only if it smells like a white wine.
17.
For all of those student-teacher affairs.
18.
They know their audience.
19.
This is aggressive but I like the pizza.
20.
SO MUCH BOOZE.