21 Freaky Facts About the Ancient Greeks That Remind Us They Were Ancient Freaks

Carly Tennes Published 06/24/2024 in wow

Despite being heralded for centuries over their invention of medicine, alarm clocks, and even democracy as we know it, the Ancient Greeks, in all their valor, weren't afraid to get really weird with it — just ask the historians and enthusiasts who have gotten down and dirty with this ultra-kinky ancient society.

From turning a radish into a DIY buttplug for punishing adultery to why shlangin' it was not a good thing a millennia ago, here are 21 insanely freaky facts about our Ancient Greek forefathers.

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1.
“Olive Oil has been used as lube since Ancient Greece.”
2.
“Ancient Greece used breadsticks for dildos prior to 5th century BC.”
3.
“In ancient Greece they would drink a psychoactive compounded brew, Kykeon, at the climax of the Eleusinian Mysteries to break a sacred fast.”
4.
“In ancient Greece throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.”
5.
“In order to advertise their services, prostitutes in ancient Greece wore sandals that left the words ‘follow me’ imprinted in the dirt as they walked.”
6.
“In Ancient Greece, small penises were desirable, and big ones were for 'old men and barbarians.’”
7.
“In Ancient Greece, prostitutes were classified into two classes; the Pornai and the Hetairai. The Pornai served many men at once, and frequently worked on the street. In contrast, Hetarai were educated, had few clients, and provided companionship and intellectual discussion as well as sex.”
8.
“Pittacus, one of the seven sages of ancient Greece, said that crimes committed in drunkness should be punished twofold.”
9.
“Spartan soldiers in ancient Greece had homosexual relationships to ‘boost morale’ and gain ‘strong emotional relationships.’”
10.
“Breasts have been referred to as "melon[s]" since the times of Ancient Greece.”
11.
“Spider webs were used as bandages in ancient Greece due to having antifungal and antiseptic properties.” 
12.
“The ancient Greeks didn't wear pants because they found them ‘ridiculous’. The Romans didn't wear them because it was seen as uncivilized and only Barbarians wore pants.”
13.
“In ancient Greece, a popular activity at parties would be to rub amber jewelry then touch frogs to make them jump around frantically. This is because greeks discovered that amber can be used to transfer charges. In fact, the word electricity comes from the greek ‘Electricus’ meaning ‘Of Amber.’”
14.
“‘Libations,’ the practice of pouring out alcohol in memory of those who have ‘passed on’ was common in Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. ‘Pouring one out for the homies’ is a custom over 3,000 years old and is mentioned in the Bible, the The Iliad, and The Odyssey.”
15.
“Ancient Greeks believed that gingers turn into vampires when they die!”
16.
“Ancient Greece believed the uterus could wander around the body like an animal searching for conception and caused ‘hysteria’ in women.”
17.
“Ancient greek males were not ashamed of exposing their entire genitalia, only the glans. This led to the habit of covering it up with the foreskin using a special knot called ‘kynodesme’, or dog tie.”
18.
“In ancient Greece, the unibrow was prized as a sign of intelligence and great beauty in women, who, if they didn't come by it naturally, used makeup to draw one on.”
19.
“In ancient Greece pottery shards inscribed with the names of one's enemies were used as 'toilet paper.’”
20.
“In Ancient Greece, when Cimon was given a sentence of 'starvation till death', his daughter, Pero, kept him alive by breastfeeding her own father”
21.
“If you were found guilty of adultery in ancient Greece, the husband of the woman with whom you committed the crime had the right to sodomize you with radishes.”

1.
“Olive Oil has been used as lube since Ancient Greece.”
2.
“Ancient Greece used breadsticks for dildos prior to 5th century BC.”
3.
“In ancient Greece they would drink a psychoactive compounded brew, Kykeon, at the climax of the Eleusinian Mysteries to break a sacred fast.”
4.
“In ancient Greece throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.”
5.
“In order to advertise their services, prostitutes in ancient Greece wore sandals that left the words ‘follow me’ imprinted in the dirt as they walked.”
6.
“In Ancient Greece, small penises were desirable, and big ones were for 'old men and barbarians.’”
7.
“In Ancient Greece, prostitutes were classified into two classes; the Pornai and the Hetairai. The Pornai served many men at once, and frequently worked on the street. In contrast, Hetarai were educated, had few clients, and provided companionship and intellectual discussion as well as sex.”
8.
“Pittacus, one of the seven sages of ancient Greece, said that crimes committed in drunkness should be punished twofold.”
9.
“Spartan soldiers in ancient Greece had homosexual relationships to ‘boost morale’ and gain ‘strong emotional relationships.’”
10.
“Breasts have been referred to as "melon[s]" since the times of Ancient Greece.”
11.
“Spider webs were used as bandages in ancient Greece due to having antifungal and antiseptic properties.” 
12.
“The ancient Greeks didn't wear pants because they found them ‘ridiculous’. The Romans didn't wear them because it was seen as uncivilized and only Barbarians wore pants.”
13.
“In ancient Greece, a popular activity at parties would be to rub amber jewelry then touch frogs to make them jump around frantically. This is because greeks discovered that amber can be used to transfer charges. In fact, the word electricity comes from the greek ‘Electricus’ meaning ‘Of Amber.’”
14.
“‘Libations,’ the practice of pouring out alcohol in memory of those who have ‘passed on’ was common in Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. ‘Pouring one out for the homies’ is a custom over 3,000 years old and is mentioned in the Bible, the The Iliad, and The Odyssey.”
15.
“Ancient Greeks believed that gingers turn into vampires when they die!”
16.
“Ancient Greece believed the uterus could wander around the body like an animal searching for conception and caused ‘hysteria’ in women.”
17.
“Ancient greek males were not ashamed of exposing their entire genitalia, only the glans. This led to the habit of covering it up with the foreskin using a special knot called ‘kynodesme’, or dog tie.”
18.
“In ancient Greece, the unibrow was prized as a sign of intelligence and great beauty in women, who, if they didn't come by it naturally, used makeup to draw one on.”
19.
“In ancient Greece pottery shards inscribed with the names of one's enemies were used as 'toilet paper.’”
20.
“In Ancient Greece, when Cimon was given a sentence of 'starvation till death', his daughter, Pero, kept him alive by breastfeeding her own father”
21.
“If you were found guilty of adultery in ancient Greece, the husband of the woman with whom you committed the crime had the right to sodomize you with radishes.”

“Olive Oil has been used as lube since Ancient Greece.”

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1. “Olive Oil has been used as lube since Ancient Greece.”

2. “Ancient Greece used breadsticks for dildos prior to 5th century BC.”

3. “In ancient Greece they would drink a psychoactive compounded brew, Kykeon, at the climax of the Eleusinian Mysteries to break a sacred fast.”

4. “In ancient Greece throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.”

5. “In order to advertise their services, prostitutes in ancient Greece wore sandals that left the words ‘follow me’ imprinted in the dirt as they walked.”

6. “In Ancient Greece, small penises were desirable, and big ones were for 'old men and barbarians.’”

7. “In Ancient Greece, prostitutes were classified into two classes; the Pornai and the Hetairai. The Pornai served many men at once, and frequently worked on the street. In contrast, Hetarai were educated, had few clients, and provided companionship and intellectual discussion as well as sex.”

8. “Pittacus, one of the seven sages of ancient Greece, said that crimes committed in drunkness should be punished twofold.”

9. “Spartan soldiers in ancient Greece had homosexual relationships to ‘boost morale’ and gain ‘strong emotional relationships.’”

10. “Breasts have been referred to as "melon[s]" since the times of Ancient Greece.”

11. “Spider webs were used as bandages in ancient Greece due to having antifungal and antiseptic properties.”

12. “The ancient Greeks didn't wear pants because they found them ‘ridiculous’. The Romans didn't wear them because it was seen as uncivilized and only Barbarians wore pants.”

14. “‘Libations,’ the practice of pouring out alcohol in memory of those who have ‘passed on’ was common in Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. ‘Pouring one out for the homies’ is a custom over 3,000 years old and is mentioned in the Bible, the The Iliad, and The Odyssey.”

15. “Ancient Greeks believed that gingers turn into vampires when they die!”

16. “Ancient Greece believed the uterus could wander around the body like an animal searching for conception and caused ‘hysteria’ in women.”

17. “Ancient greek males were not ashamed of exposing their entire genitalia, only the glans. This led to the habit of covering it up with the foreskin using a special knot called ‘kynodesme’, or dog tie.”

18. “In ancient Greece, the unibrow was prized as a sign of intelligence and great beauty in women, who, if they didn't come by it naturally, used makeup to draw one on.”

19. “In ancient Greece pottery shards inscribed with the names of one's enemies were used as 'toilet paper.’”

20. “In Ancient Greece, when Cimon was given a sentence of 'starvation till death', his daughter, Pero, kept him alive by breastfeeding her own father”

21. “If you were found guilty of adultery in ancient Greece, the husband of the woman with whom you committed the crime had the right to sodomize you with radishes.”

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eBaum's Picks

1.
“Olive Oil has been used as lube since Ancient Greece.”

2.
“Ancient Greece used breadsticks for dildos prior to 5th century BC.”

3.
“In ancient Greece they would drink a psychoactive compounded brew, Kykeon, at the climax of the Eleusinian Mysteries to break a sacred fast.”

4.
“In ancient Greece throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.”

5.
“In order to advertise their services, prostitutes in ancient Greece wore sandals that left the words ‘follow me’ imprinted in the dirt as they walked.”

6.
“In Ancient Greece, small penises were desirable, and big ones were for 'old men and barbarians.’”

7.
“In Ancient Greece, prostitutes were classified into two classes; the Pornai and the Hetairai. The Pornai served many men at once, and frequently worked on the street. In contrast, Hetarai were educated, had few clients, and provided companionship and intellectual discussion as well as sex.”

8.
“Pittacus, one of the seven sages of ancient Greece, said that crimes committed in drunkness should be punished twofold.”

9.
“Spartan soldiers in ancient Greece had homosexual relationships to ‘boost morale’ and gain ‘strong emotional relationships.’”

10.
“Breasts have been referred to as "melon[s]" since the times of Ancient Greece.”

11.
“Spider webs were used as bandages in ancient Greece due to having antifungal and antiseptic properties.” 

12.
“The ancient Greeks didn't wear pants because they found them ‘ridiculous’. The Romans didn't wear them because it was seen as uncivilized and only Barbarians wore pants.”

14.
“‘Libations,’ the practice of pouring out alcohol in memory of those who have ‘passed on’ was common in Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome. ‘Pouring one out for the homies’ is a custom over 3,000 years old and is mentioned in the Bible, the The Iliad, and The Odyssey.”

15.
“Ancient Greeks believed that gingers turn into vampires when they die!”

16.
“Ancient Greece believed the uterus could wander around the body like an animal searching for conception and caused ‘hysteria’ in women.”

17.
“Ancient greek males were not ashamed of exposing their entire genitalia, only the glans. This led to the habit of covering it up with the foreskin using a special knot called ‘kynodesme’, or dog tie.”

18.
“In ancient Greece, the unibrow was prized as a sign of intelligence and great beauty in women, who, if they didn't come by it naturally, used makeup to draw one on.”

19.
“In ancient Greece pottery shards inscribed with the names of one's enemies were used as 'toilet paper.’”

20.
“In Ancient Greece, when Cimon was given a sentence of 'starvation till death', his daughter, Pero, kept him alive by breastfeeding her own father”

21.
“If you were found guilty of adultery in ancient Greece, the husband of the woman with whom you committed the crime had the right to sodomize you with radishes.”