How a Baby is Made, Explained With Pizza

Infantgenius Published 08/05/2015 in Funny

Give your kid the "pizza talk" instead of the "sex talk." It's definitely more comfortable.

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1.
Pizza is one of nature's greatest gifts.
2.
But it can be confusing.
3.
You may find yourself starting to get interested in pizza.
4.
That's totally normal!
5.
When a man and a woman get very hungry, sometimes they want to make a pizza.
6.
7.
Whether you're into pineapples or red peppers, you need to find the right person to eat with.
8.
You may have to try it with a bunch of people.
9.
...and you may get burned a few times.
10.
Women want it too. If your experience is that they don't, you're doing it wrong.
11.
Sometimes music helps set the mood for pizza-makin...'
12.
...Whatever helps you get into it.
13.
14.
This is where the magic happens.
15.
Be careful: Pizza-making is hot.
16.
Ohhh yeah.
17.
18.
Despite what your friends may tell you, pizza can happen from nearly any position, and there's no wrong way to do it.
19.
The cooks add their own special ingredients...
20.
...and voilà!
21.
It takes time for your pizza to get ready for the world.
22.
But finally, a pizza is born!
23.
Your very own pizza will be the greatest joy in your life.
24.
Believe it or not, not everybody loves their pizza. Those are bad people.
25.
The average weight of a pizza at birth is 7.5 lbs., but don't be worried if yours weighs less--many do, and it's still your pizza!
26.
...because pizza comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
27.
They're all beautiful.
28.
...and magical.
29.
...and worthy of love.
30.
The only reason to get mad is if your pizza comes out with different ingredients than you put in. Not the pizza's fault, but she tricked you, and that's not your pizza.
31.
With your new understanding of the greatest pie, get out there, be safe, and have fun!
32.

1.
Pizza is one of nature's greatest gifts.
2.
But it can be confusing.
3.
You may find yourself starting to get interested in pizza.
4.
That's totally normal!
5.
When a man and a woman get very hungry, sometimes they want to make a pizza.
6.
7.
Whether you're into pineapples or red peppers, you need to find the right person to eat with.
8.
You may have to try it with a bunch of people.
9.
...and you may get burned a few times.
10.
Women want it too. If your experience is that they don't, you're doing it wrong.
11.
Sometimes music helps set the mood for pizza-makin...'
12.
...Whatever helps you get into it.
13.
14.
This is where the magic happens.
15.
Be careful: Pizza-making is hot.
16.
Ohhh yeah.
17.
18.
Despite what your friends may tell you, pizza can happen from nearly any position, and there's no wrong way to do it.
19.
The cooks add their own special ingredients...
20.
...and voilà!
21.
It takes time for your pizza to get ready for the world.
22.
But finally, a pizza is born!
23.
Your very own pizza will be the greatest joy in your life.
24.
Believe it or not, not everybody loves their pizza. Those are bad people.
25.
The average weight of a pizza at birth is 7.5 lbs., but don't be worried if yours weighs less--many do, and it's still your pizza!
26.
...because pizza comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
27.
They're all beautiful.
28.
...and magical.
29.
...and worthy of love.
30.
The only reason to get mad is if your pizza comes out with different ingredients than you put in. Not the pizza's fault, but she tricked you, and that's not your pizza.
31.
With your new understanding of the greatest pie, get out there, be safe, and have fun!
32.