Tried cow tipping. Ended up getting kicked by a cow and got 2 broken ribs. —- Jumped and landed one footed onto a banana skin to prove that the idea they are slippy as fuck was made up for cartoons. Nope. They really are slippy as fuck. —- Rode on the hood of a car doing 40 holding onto belts tied to the doors, like in the movie death proof.

Me and my brother decided to play William Tell. I didn’t have an apple and I wasn’t dumb enough to put the can on my head. Instead I placed a empty pop can in my hand for my brother to shoot off with a BB gun. Shockingly he missed the can and lodged the BB in my finger. My mom then took me to the doctor’s office, were he tried to remove it. He couldn’t remove it since it was lodged in the joint of my finger. He then suggested to just give it time and it would naturally work itself to the surface. In time it did just that. Once it started to bulge just under the skin on the side of my finger, my dad took a razor blade and cut my finger open. The BB just popped on out and all was well. Except for the mental anguish my dad caused when he told me how he intended to remove the BB. – robert9712000 —- I snuck out to do teenagerly things at around midnight and got back at around 4 in the morning. I very slowly, agonizingly slowly, took my keys out of my pocket, selected the correct key, inserted it into the front door lock at a speed of one tumbler per fortnight, rotated it counterclockwise while palming the rest of the keys so as to not let them jingle and successfully unlocked the door. I removed the key from the lock at the same snails pace and put my keys back in my right front pocket. I went to reach for the doorknob and rang the doorbell. That was when I died.

Not sure if dumb or awesome, but for my 18th birthday, we went around in 3 cars stealing signs/cones from roadworks areas at about 3am. Not enough that you’d notice, but 1 or 2 pieces from each set up. Next we went and closed off part of a road, with all the proper signage and markings. It took 3 weeks before people realised no one was showing up at this road works area and called the transit authority to find out what was going on. A week later, it was all gone. —- Lost my phone. Had a couple dick pics on it. Person that found my phone changed my FB profile pic to a dick pic. All my friends saw. It was up all day. Guy kept commenting on it “Yeahhh… you like this dick ladies.”

Shaved my eyebrows off for no reason whatsoever. I got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to shave my whole body for some reason. I’m pretty hairy so it took all night and then I had to explain it to everyone until it grew back. I don’t swim competitively or anything so I’m still not sure what my rationale was at the time. I microwaved my sandals.

I tied 2x4s to my legs & ropes to my steering wheel, sat with my legs through my sunroof, and tried to drive my car like a stagecoach. It “worked”, but the car ended up in a ditch. As a 13 year old boy…Somewhere in the depths of the security cams archive at a certain department store chain, is me masturbating in the ladies section to a picture of a woman in her underwear. I only noticed the camera after I finished. Dropped out of high school in my final year (literally and figuratively; I jumped out of a window and was expelled).

I owned this camera that had a really bright flash. It was soo bright that if you took a picture of someone like 1 and a half meters away all you would see is a white outline then the background. I put the flash right up to my eye and took a picture. That eye was blind for about a minute and everything that was white appeared orange for the next 30 minutes. Yes, I was a moron was I was 16. I farted while we were spread out sitting on the ground in my gym class. Everyone looked behind towards me and I looked behind me, only to see that I was looking at a wall.