1

The one from a guy you went out with two times months ago and haven't talked to since: What It Means: "The girl I started dating instead of you broke up with me and now I'm super horny so I'm hoping you're still single and really lonely!"

2

The one from the girl that broke up with you that appears to be nothing but gibberish: What It Means: It's almost definitely a pocket text, BUT WHAT IF IT'S NOT!? You'll try to convince yourself she's asking you if you want to go see a new DJ called DJ jjjjjjjjbhjbh. It's time to let go.

3

The bizarre revelation, usually in all caps: What It Means: Your friend took drugs. A lot of drugs.

4

The late night emergency: What It Means: Somebody is either dying, or your friend Lindsay owes you a lot of big favors after this one.

5

The Vow: What It Means: Your friend drank way too much and is making promises he will never keep. In a week he'll forget this text ever existed.

6

The very unnecessary fantasy sports update: What It Means: Your friend need to examine a lot of life choices and you need to keep your phone on silent at night.

7

The ominous request: What It Means: Your friend is going to jail and you should shred any evidence that connects you with him.

8

The one from your employer: What It Means: You're either getting fired for something truly terrible, or you have the absolute worst boss in the world that has knows no boundaries.

9

The inquiry from a girl you've been flirting with: What It Means: She's not wanting to go to Olive Garden at 3am, so that means BOOTY CALLLLLLL

10

The suspicious request from your roommate: What It Means: He's sleeping in your bed or he's having sex in the living room.

11

The reminder of a forgotten responsibility: What It Means: You're about to be very single.