During every man's life, there reaches a point where he has to choose his fate, making a hard-line decision that will follow him for every step he takes on this god-forsaken planet: Does he pick up that really big stick or that perfectly smooth rock while walking around the neighborhood. 

While purists may argue for each outcome — a stick evokes the mountain men of yesteryear while a nice smooth rock is, well, just that — one thing is certain: You can most definitely stick these hilarious Twitter memes in your pocket and head on your way.

From the myth of consensual healthcare to an Olympic sharpshooter embodying our most passive-aggressive emails, here are the 32 funniest tweets of the day, Thursday, August 1, 2024.