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This is not an anti-gamer post, so please don’t think you're being attacked. I don’t give a shit what console you play, I’m just here to place you into stereotypical categories based on nothing but my own predispositions. With that said, PS5 is for virgins and Xbox is for Chads, end of discussion.

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If you have an Xbox, chances are you love saying the n-word, drinking monster and use 3-in-1 body washes. If you have a PS5 chances are you can’t grow a full beard, you live with your parents and you subscribe to at least one OnlyFans.

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These are based solely on my perceptions of the consoles themselves, and what they say to me, about you. I know none of these things may be true, though they for some, they could be. This is a console battle not for the best next-gen system, or who has the fastest loading time, but who, when the games and consoles are stripped away, is more a virgin or chad.

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The Xbox is big and blocky. The PS5 is delicate and curved. The Xbox is black and green, while the PS5 is white, black and blue. People who lean towards the PS5 tend to like art more, they tend to read more as well. People who prefer the Xbox are typically more closed off from the world. They are people who like predictability and structure, while PS5 users are less worried of the unknown.

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One is made American, the other Japanese, I shouldn’t have to say which of those countries is Virgin and which is Chad, because come on, it’s obvious.

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So what? There are people out there who see if different, and though they are entitled to their own opinion, they are bad opinions. The Chad v Virgin memes have been around a long while, and so have the console wars. So not to be too serious or to rub anyone the wrong way, it’s the bond between us that lets us all shit on PC Gamers together. Because, they are something else entirely.

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