“The texture! When they said ‘hard’ I didn’t know what to expect….but it wasn’t that.”

“What struck me the most was that it’s just there, dangling away, all day, every day, just hanging out with its ball buddies. Like how do you not sit on it? Is it not constantly annoying you? Is the satisfaction of unsticking it from your thighs worth the discomfort of it sticking in the first place?”

I was surprised that bigger is definitely not always better. Too big, and it’s just so uncomfortable!”

“How squishy it is flaccid.”

I expected the penis, but I didn’t expect the balls to be so…there

That it sort of floated in a bath…I didn’t expect that.

How completely floppy and structureless it is when soft. I always want to flop it around like those gel sparkle stress toy tubes from the ’90s

The veins

“How hard they actually get.”

“I was surprised he could make it move. It twitches. Weird!

“I was so surprised to find out it felt like when you touch your eyelid when your eyes closed. I didn’t think the skin would move around but it still be so hard underneath. Gaahhh, still freaks me out a bit now and I’m 28 with 2 kids!” I can’t be the only one who just touched their eyelid, right?

BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting.”

The penis wasn’t all one uniform color, and was veiny. And don’t even get me started on when I saw the balls. I remember thinking ‘Why are they just hanging like THAT

It can jump on its own

“I thought it had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it. Took a while for me to get used to the fact that dicks usually don’t have ribs…”

Helicopter dick. That shit was wild the first time I saw it.”

The way the hard part stayed put but the skin moved around it. I don’t know how else to describe it.”