Misc text - jokes

The 12 Inch Pianist

You don't always get what you really want...

By dufflebagboy95

Featured 10 years ago in Funny

Women Should Never Ask

There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions...

By thelegendery

Featured 16 years ago

Music Farting

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a...

By jobeman1296

Featured 16 years ago

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

1.) I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. 2.) I love deadlines. I especially like...

By thelegendery

Featured 16 years ago

Definitions

1.) THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female.....Any part under a car's hood. Male.........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2.) VULNERABLE...

By thelegendery

Featured 16 years ago

My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to...

By JJthebear7272

Featured 16 years ago

Very Punny 2

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came...

By pepsicola88

Featured 16 years ago

Very Punny

The pediatrician was a real kidder. A boating accident between the yacht, Red Dawn, and the schooner, Blue Lagoon, left the survivors...

By pepsicola88

Featured 16 years ago

Sweet Revenge

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he...

By buddha247

Featured 16 years ago

Great Classifieds

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE...

By lorddread

Featured 16 years ago

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?” 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the...

By Fuglitious

Featured 16 years ago

Wal-Mart

HOW BIG IS WAL-MART? 1 . At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour Of every day. 2 . This works out to $20,928 profit Every...

By SuperSpy

Featured 16 years ago

Perfect

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of...

By Riley

Featured 16 years ago

Santa's Finger

A little boy sits on Santa's lap. Santa says "I bet I know what you want for Christmas," and with his finger he taps the boys nose with every...

By ebaum

Featured 16 years ago

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the...

By sparks158

Featured 16 years ago

The Bathtub Test

Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be...

By mrsirsouth

Featured 16 years ago

Keep Quiet

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe...

By thelegendery

Featured 16 years ago

Funny Warning Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...

By aimeelee143

Featured 16 years ago

They Walk Among Us...

People like these make you wonder how they actually survive in this world of ours! A K-Mart check out clerk rang up $46.64. I gave her a...

By aimeelee143

Featured 16 years ago

Internet Axioms

Internet Axioms 1. Home is where you hang your @ 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of...

By OnST

Featured 16 years ago

Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat...

By eyendsky

Featured 16 years ago

Texans

Two hill-billies from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan...

By Molocter

Featured 16 years ago

Rectum Stretcher

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in...

By MPBlaster

Featured 16 years ago

Cinderella Story

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world ...

By aimeelee143

Featured 16 years ago

Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker

A furious light saber duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off...

By thelegendery

Featured 16 years ago

Misc text - jokes

The 12 Inch Pianist

Women Should Never Ask

Music Farting

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

Definitions

My Dear Watson

Very Punny 2

Very Punny

Sweet Revenge

Great Classifieds

Things to do on an Elevator

Wal-Mart

Perfect

Santa's Finger

A Christmas Poem

The Bathtub Test

Keep Quiet

Funny Warning Labels

They Walk Among Us...

Internet Axioms

Ten Things Only Women Understand

Texans

Rectum Stretcher

Cinderella Story

Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker

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