I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the...
By ebaum
Featured 18 years ago
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin...
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders...
SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in...
A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The...
Unlock your car from the outside! This only applies to cars that can be unlocked by remote button. Should you lock your keys in the car and...
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. In this...
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him,...
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't...
A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next...
When you sneeze, air and particles travel through the nostrils at speeds over100 mph. During this time, all bodily functions stop, including...
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect...
Each of us generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper. Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of all Americans...
Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life", by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of...
A whale's penis is called a dork. Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west. The average...
1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F. 2. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." 3. Barbie's full name is...
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. Greeting him the Lord says, "You've lived a good life. If there is any way I can make...
A few children's books that didn't make the cut: 1. You Are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3....
There were three guys in hell. an Italian guy , a bum and a gay guy. One day the devil says to them I'm gonna give you one more chance on Earth,...
Virginity like bubble - one prick all gone Man who run in front of car get tired Man who run behind car get exhausted Man with hand in...
You think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once.You only get eaten once.It takes 4 minutes to get hard....
* Molecularly speaking, water is actually much drier than sand. * The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market...
There was a very self-sufficient blind man, who did a lot of traveling alone. He was making his first trip to Texas and happened to be seated...
1...Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. 2...If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. 3...My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student...
