The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with...
By ebaum
Featured 18 years ago
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order. 2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order...
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both...
You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify. 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient...
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q. What's a mixed...
A man walks up to you and says - "everything I say to you is a lie." Is he telling you the truth or is he lying? Neither. It's a paradox and...
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old...
When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around...
English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning. Two individuals...
Las Vegas means "the meadows" in Spanish. In Nevada, there are more than 209,000 slot machines normally operating 24 hours a day, seven...
We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show"...
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How...
Dear Redneck Son; I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad...
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth...
When someone questions the obvious give them back a snappy answer. ;) Snappy Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure...
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every...
To My Dearest Wife, During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average...
GEORGE BUSH : When you rearrange the letters : HE BUGS GORE DORMITORY : : DIRTY ROOM EVANGELIST : : EVIL'S AGENT ...
1. We keep our last name. 2. The garage is all ours. 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 5. We can...
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles,...
Hilarious Newspaper Headlines (the best of 1999) 1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet...
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An...
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: * I do physical labour * I work at great depths * I am...
Study this and know it! FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up....
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled...
