Reminder: Dollar Tree is not a place to jack off. Yesterday, Philadelphia police began searching for a man who allegedly went into Dollar Tree, began to beat his meat, and eventually, splooged all of the leg of a stranger. The culprit, a 35-year-old named Gary Miles, has now turned himself in, though he hasn’t explained why he thought the best place to blow a load would be the store where you get off-brand toothpaste and 3 liter bottles of soda. Here’s what it looked like right after he came, came, and went.

NEW: Philadelphia police are searching for a man after he 'relieved himself' on a woman's leg in a Dollar Tree store.

The man can be seen running from the store before the woman shows what he did to her leg.

"He n*tted on my leg!" the woman can be heard saying.

Police say the… pic.twitter.com/TOHpfB5Wch

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) July 10, 2024