Floridians, for once, we’re not going to make fun of you — we’re just going to advise that you, very quickly, stop being Floridians.

Hurricane Milton is on its way, which means that we may soon have untold devastation at the hands of something named “Milton.” While Helene may have been bad already, weathermen are talking about Milton in terms that should really make you pause, and if you haven’t already, pack up the trailer for a trip up north.

The mayor of Tampa has told residents that, if they stay in the evacuation areas, they are “going to die,” and weathermen talking about the situation can’t help but start crying.