One of the internet’s favorite hobbies is playing armchair sleuth. It’s a running joke that young women raised on social media are better than the FBI at finding people online, particularly men, based on nothing more than a name. Thanks to a recent TikTok, the armchair sleuths are back on the job, searching for a man who pissed on the dance floor at a New York City bar.


@bransennn

✅ Marked safe from the splash zone

♬ original sound - Bransen


A user named Bransen posted a video in which he said, “If you are the man at a certain Hell’s Kitchen bar last night who decided to whip out your uh, ‘Richard Nixon,’ on the dance floor and just start pissing all over everybody, I hope you’re having a terrible hangover today babe, you deserve it.”


Naturally, the first question on every commenter’s mind was which bar this took place in, leading to multiple NYC bars to chime in and clarify that the incident did not happen at their establishment, including Industry Bar, which commented, “It wasn’t here! ” following comments from several people guessing that the event did indeed take place at their bar.


Others weren’t satisfied by using this process of elimination, with one commenter asking Bransen if they could guess via a game of Twenty Questions. Other guesses included Flaming Saddles, Rise, Hush or the Ritz. This led to people debating in the comments about which Hell’s Kitchen bars have the worst vibes. One commenter, arguing in favor of Rise, wrote, “That place has a super magnetic pull after 12 a.m. for THE drunkest people alive.”


@bransennn Replying to @Johnmvilla ♬ original sound - Bransen


Fortunately, Bransen posted a follow-up video in which he described the situation in detail, including the fact that the man didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late, at which point he did zip himself back up. Sleuths will be happy to know that he does indeed name which bar the incident took place at: the aforementioned Rise.


Commenters were happy that their guesses turned out to be correct, but Rise will probably not be so thrilled when they realize they’ve been named in such a gross incident. Maybe adopting a policy of turning away people so wasted they don’t know when or where they’re pissing would help prevent such situations in the future!