They may deny it, but the average European yearns for America. These people may brag about their walkable cities or their free health care, but somewhere deep in their 220-volt hearts, they know that they would be happier doing keg stands and driving a Ford F150 than they ever could be watching some TV show about a train (or whatever the Germans are up to these days.)


That said, they don’t fully understand America — as evidenced by a recent post from TikToker Selkie. While the user has since deleted her video (and account, it seems), in this video, she theorizes about what she might wear to the University of Alabama. The answer may surprise you.



While the average female University of Alabama student is happiest in a sweatshirt and leggings, Selkie decided that the ideal everyday Alabama outfit is something ripped from the dashboards of Tumblr (copy of Lolita included!).



From there, Selkie heads off to gameday, where they appear to have selected an outfit somewhere between burlesque and Victorian child. To close out her collection, she goes for a vintage designer dress that she says is the perfect attire for her boyfriend’s fraternity formal. Yes, I’m sure that will look absolutely wonderful covered in Fireball-scented vomit.




In all seriousness, this girl was just having a bit of fun, and I do really hope this girl gets to go to America someday and experience a tailgate firsthand. One sip of White Claw, and she won’t need Kant to critique pure reason.