1. Beat the heat with Gatorade Frost, available in Glacier Freeze, Alpine Snow, and Whitewater Splash.

2. Instead of wasting water on cleaning dishes, just buy new ones.

3. Refuse to admit that Global Warming exists in the first place (global warming draws its strength from fear)

4. Burn down all the greenhouses to stop them from producing their gas

5. Switch to menthol cigarettes.

6. When smoking crack out of a lightbulb, use CFL light bulbs as they are more efficient

7. Go door to door with a clipboard for less-than minimum wage.

8. Drill a hole through the earth to release the heat trapped inside

9. Preserve precious water by shitting in the shower rather than using your toilet

10. Boycott big oil... huff paint instead of gasoline

11. Replace the melting ice-caps by using your freezer to make ice cubes at home and then drive them down to the beach and dump them in the water.

12. Finally recycle those old love letters from your ex-girlfriend, you loser.