10 Tips on How to Procrastinate at Work
Mizuka Ishiwatari
Published
05/07/2015
And still look like you're working your ass off.
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1.
When out of your office, always carry a bunch of papers with you. It will make you look like you're working constantly, even when you aren't. -
2.
Open up a panic page in an additional browser, you can click on when your boss enters your office. Quickly grab the phone and pretend you're calling somebody about the thing being displayed on that page. You won't have to close down Ebaumsworld, or try to come up with what you were doing, on the fly. -
3.
Keep your desk buried in documents. It's going to look like you have a lot of stuff to do. -
4.
Try not to pick up the phone when possible. Let them leave a message. If it's something that requires you to work on something call them back 2 minutes before their lunch break. They'll likely postpone your task. -
5.
Whenever you talk with your boss, try to look as frustrated, tired and nervous as you can. It's going to make you look like a hard worker. -
6.
Leave the office 20-30 minutes late, especially when your boss is still around. The rest of your colleagues should be gone by then, so you can spend that time reading a book, or watching cat videos. Another great trick is to send your boss emails 5-10 minutes after you were supposed to finish your workday. Prepare them earlier and click send before you leave. -
7.
Keep sighing out of the blue. Especially around your boss. They're going to think that you're under a lot of stress, most likely from the pressure your important assignment is giving you. They'll not only go easier on you, they'll likely feel sympathy and take you for a person who works hard for them. -
8.
The stack strategy. Don't only keep a pile of scattered documents on your desk. Be sure to build a few towers made out of instruction manuals. Not only do they cover a lot of things you'd like to hide, it also gives you the "this guy knows what he's doing" look. -
9.
Work on your technical vocabulary. Memorize a few sentences with big words nobody in the office (not even your boss) will understand. Be sure to say them casually, like it was your hobby. -
10.
Don't send this to your boss by accident.
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