A stupid guy dies and goes to Heaven.

The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"

The guy replies, "That's easy. Today and tomorrow."

The gatekeeper says, "OK, I'll give it to you. Second question: how many seconds are in a year?"

The stupid guy says, "Twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd...."

The gatekeeper says, "OK, OK, I'll give it to you. Last question: what is God's first name?"

The stupid guy replies, "Howard."

The gatekeeper asks, "How on earth did you get Howard?"

The guy says, "It's right there in the prayer: Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name."